NORMAL LIFE: Her Maj Turns 80!

Grand old Queen Elizabeth turns 80 today! And don't she look fab?! I checked out the official website of the British Monarchy to see what was going on and came across a microsite dedicated to the Queen's 80th Birthday. Access it here.

I know pretty much all there is to know about our Queen, but I couldn't resist clicking on the '80 facts about the Queen' link. I found out that she's the 40th monarch since William the Conqueror, that she speaks fluent French and is Patron of more than 620 charities and organisations.

She has visited 129 countries, including Australia (15 times), Canada (23 times), Jamaica (six times) and New Zealand (10 times). The Queen has sat for 139 official portraits during her lifetime, two of which were with The Duke of Edinburgh. Talk about hogging the limelight, eh?!

It's not that I am a staunch monarchist. It's just that I honestly believe that the day we lose our queen, who is also a symbol of constancy for all members of the Commonwealth, is the day the Monarchy is doomed. As one Australian friend of mine said recently during a debate about the Monarchy. "It's not Her Maj we have a problem with, it's those blasted kids of 'ers." And let's face it, the guys got a point (even if he Australian!). The queen, graceful and still looking beautiful (for an 80-year-old!), has spawned four ugly kids who just don't know how to behave.

Let's start with Charles. He's been a nightmare ever since his proposal to Diana. When he replied to a reporter's question as to whether or not they were in love, Charles nodded his head, adding 'whatever love is'. What a prick! He has proven himself to be incapable of showing any form of emotion and, after having one of the most beautiful women in the world as a wife, ended up marrying a horse who likes to wear wellies. Like a BBC correspondent once said: "they're like a pair of comfy old slippers"!

Then came Anne. God, is there nothing the surgeons can do about those teeth? And don't get me started on her sense of fashion, or lack of! What amazes me, though, is how good looks seem to have jumped a generation right across the royal family. I mean, have you seen her son, Peter Phillips? He's gorgeous! Anne has a penchant for raising dogs that want to eat passersby and, like brother Charles, couldn't resist filing for divorce.

Then there's the Duke of York. He's always been my favourite of the Royals, but one can't be surprised that, if he really is flying from golf course to golf course, the weight was bound to pile on. Dubbed the Duke of Pork in recent years, Andrew divorced wife, Sarah Ferguson, but hasn't remarried. At first, I thought he might be gay, but that's the other one, isn't it?

Yes, Edward, perhaps the only Royal who literally 'bought' his wife. That's my theory, anyway. I mean, let's face it, Sophie has her faults, but she's way too good for him! Edward, Edward... what is there to say about Edward? I'm stumped. I imagine that if the Royal Family is to have any credibility whatsoever, this marriage will need to remain intact. Watch this space!

But I don't have one bad word to say about the Queen. She has style, grace and it's not as if she can put her hands up and say 'I resign!'. Well, she can, but it just isn't done. The longer she stays where she is, the more likely the throne will go straight to William and his looks have gone to pot recently, too!

But the Queen is 80 and her 1.8 billion subjects throughout the Commonwealth have seen her as a constant, someone dedicated to her role. Not once has scandal toppled this woman nor has she courted controversy. If she's made of the same stuff her mother was made of, she'll be around for another 20 years yet!

Happy Birthday, Your Majesty!

NORMAL LIFE: Racism In Helsinki!

As liberal as Finland appears to be on the surface, if my Master's dissertation reading is anything to go by, Finland is overtly nationalist. And who can blame them after 762 years of occupation under the Swedes and Russians? And what they have acheived since indepdence in 1917 is incredible.

Sometimes, however, you wonder what spurs on the individuals within governments who endeavour to create a society that runs on time, regardless of the weather. Finland has achevied many things; it's education is among the best in the world, it's transport system runs bang on time and the health service isn't in tatters like some in Europe. Of course, it's not perfect, but it's good!

So it surprised me today to see a young youth, no older than 13, behaving in such a way that, if caught on camera, would stun the nation. For people keep telling me that Finland isn't a racist country, oh no! Again, my reading tells me that it's human nature to favour 'your own', referring to those groups (including ethnic) that you associate most with.

Having just got on the tram, I noticed a young muslim girl dressed in one of those all-over costumes representative of her faith. I've seen that millions of times in my life and I bearly even notice now. However, as the tram slowly departed from the tram stop, the young white youth outside proceeded to spit at the window where she was sitting; the spit was malicely intended for her and you should have seen the evil look on the young boys face.

And, yes, I was shocked. And, yes, I did what we all do; I looked away. It wasn't my problem, after all. What struck me most was that the girl, not much older than the white boy, bearly flinched. She showed a remarkable resilience when most young, white girls would have broken down and cried, claiming mistreatment. What has the world come to, eh?

The EU was created after two World Wars to create a sense of harmony and political stability. To a large degree, it has succeeded. Admittedly, Muslims do not 'belong' in Europe and white man, unwilling to merely enjoy the relative safety of the 21st Century, seems to have a nationalist urge to oust them. Why can't we all just get along?

NORMAL LIFE: Smiley Kylie Is Back!

Today might be my birthday, but I am going to break with tradition and stop talking about myself for a bit (did I hear someone at the back sigh with relief?!!).

Instead, I wish to pay tribute to the one and only Kylie Minogue. Celebrities tend to court controversy and scandal, but not the lovely Smiley Kylie. Since her days with INXS lead Michael Hutchence, the girl from Down Under has behaved herself and I respect her for this. Until a couple of years ago, she's been pictured with a different man every week and who can blame her for being popular with an arse like hers?!

She's been battling Cancer for nearly a year now, but the above photo (taken by her boyfriend, Olivier Martinez) show that she's well and truly on the mend. There's talk of her looking at lyrics for a new album and there has been recent speculation of her tying with the not with her boyfriend who, I must add, is gorgeous! Even better news is that the Showgirl is even planning to do yet another tour as a thank you to her millions of fans who, she says, have helped her cope with her ordeal.

They say that the best get taken young, but it looks like Kylie minogue is set to stay. And that's not to say that she's not the best! Far from it - she's fantabulous!

NORMAL LIFE: Let The Bidding Commence?!

It's 10am...

.... and the waiting began already last night. I slept a little bit better last night though, having learnt yesterday afternoon that Company A wants to employ me into a very responsible position in a very reputable company.

As soon as I found out that Company A wanted me to sign the contract at 1pm today, I contacted Company B to let them know that I would be unable to attend an interview tomorrow morning. To do so would have been foolish as the job would have been a temporary one anyway. So, I withdrew my application albeit in the final leg of the process.

However, when I contacted Company C (which I really like the sound of), I was told that they still remained undecided as to who the successful candidate would be. However, they have a meeting at 10am today to decide who the final candidate would be. Hopefully, my job offer might spur them into making a decision. The lady in HR said that she will let me know personally before lunchtime.

My worry is that they will call me around lunchtime, an hour before my contract signing, offering me the job. How will I know which job to take? I don't want to decide by comparing figures or by closing my eyes and picking one of two company names on a piece of paper! Both jobs have their benefits and disadvantages. Oh, I know, I will do a SWOT analysis!

It's 11.15am...

.... and Company C just called to tell me that, unfortunately, none of the candidates were suitable for role. As a far as I know, there were eight initial candidates and this was shortlisted to four and, later, to two. And I was in the final two. Somehow neither of the two of us were suitable. Tell me, how does a shortlist even start if no one is suitable?

Anyway, Company C is going to readvertise and start the all process over again. Perhaps they can be a little more descisive the second time around. It is this decisiveness that I have to credit Company A with and is, in the end, the thing that decided it for me. Final negotiations and contract signing are at 1pm today so keep reading...

It's 3.30pm...

... and everything is done and dusted. After our very amicable and pleasant negotiation and contract signing, I thought to myself how could I have doubted Company A for a minute? I feel really good about the job now.

Once we got all the formalities out the way, he (my new boss) put a contract in front of me. I scanned the information, it was all correct, but the salary was slightly higher than the amount we had agreed in an earlier telephone conversation; from the other side of the table, my boss said that he put a little extra there to welcome me to the company!

Another thing the contract specified was that there would be occasional international travel. I was like, yes! Company B and C can stay well away now as far as I was concerned!

So, yes, I am happy. After spending two months back in the UK, four months in temporary contracts and doing freelance work, I am once again employed. It didn't come easy, though. It took 238 job applications so a lot of perseverance and, of course, a lot of support from Bree and my friends.

NORMAL LIFE: Me, According To Bree

Today marks the day I meet Bree four years ago (see Flashback 11 here) and Bree has been reflecting alot recently.

How does the above picture of the Highland Cattle relate to this posting? Well, we saw them when we visited Northern Scotland in July 2004 and, having reached Edinburgh in the South, Bree took a shine to the postcard featuring this unusual animal.

In a way, the image does kind of symbolise me - the creature looks cute in it's own way whilst having a moody disposition. So, how does Bree feel after 'four years under British occupation', as he likes to call it?! He enjoys the dramas that I weave and I know he still loves me.

Four years with Bree hasn't been easy, but the ups and downs have been worth it. I love you babysoft, here's to next four years and beyond xx

OUT OF INTEREST: Mikael Agricola (1510 - 1557), Father of Finnish written langauge.

Once again, the national flag is raised on virtually every building in the land. And the reason this time is to celebrate the life of Mikael Agricola who lived from 1510 - 1557.

A Finnish clergyman, Agricola was a proponent of the Protestant Reformation during what was the time of Swedish rule. Later on, he went on to found written Finnish and is therefore known as the 'Father of Finnish written langauge.'

Very little is known about his life; key dates, including his birth, remain inexact. From a quite wealthy peasant family (how can a peasant family be wealthy?!), he had three sisters and, somehow, their names are not known either.

His teachers apparently recognized his aptitude for languages and he was sent to study Latin in Viipuri. It was when he studied there that he assumed the surname of Agricola, honouring his father's occupation as a farmer which was common for first-generation scholars of the time.

It is believed that his time in Viipuri bought him into contact with the Reformation; Viipuri's castle was ruled by German Count Johann, who had served the King of Sweden, Gustav Vasa. The Count was a supporter of the Rreformation, and Lutheran services were already known to be held during this time.

In 1528, he moved to Turku on the West Coast of Finland, and became a scribe for the bishop there. On the death of Martin Luther's first Finnish student, Petrus Särkilahti, in 1529, it was up to Agricola to continue his work. It has been presumed that he was ordained to the priesthood around 1531.

After a period of study in Germany, Agricola learnt Greek, the original language of the New Testament. In Germany, he also met Martin Luther, the German theologian whose teachings inspired the Reformation. In 1537, Agricola began translating the New Testament into Finnish, but at the same time began working on 'ABC Kiria', a primer for reading in a nation where there was no nationally understood written language. This was published in 1538, ahead of the New Testament's publication in 1548.

In the late 1530s, King Gustav Vasa had confiscated the property of Church when he was consolidating his power whilst also driving the reformation. In 1544, Agricola received an order from the crown to send several talented young men to Stockholm's taxing offices. Agricola did not obey until the order was sent again the next year and this disobedience affected relations considerably.

In 1548, Gustav Vasa ordered Agricola to retire from his position as a rector. Married at this time, Agricola bore a son, Christian Agricola, who later went on to became the bishop of Tallinn in 1584.

In 1557, Agricola joined the delegation that was going to Russia to negotiate a peace treaty. On his way back, he fell ill and died in Karelia. Like very much in his life, the exact location of his grave inside Viipuri's church remains unknown.

NORMAL LIFE: Rant & Rave Published

I recently had a moan about an article I read recently in SixDegrees magazine which claimed that British people in the workplace needed help because they couldn't spell (see blog entry here). Well, my reaction to the article has been published on the 6D website. You can see the published article here. Proud!

NORMAL LIFE: Happy Birthday To Someone Special Down Under!

As far as friendships go, I hardly know the guy! I was introduced to him on a night out last Summer by one of my friends who also live in Helsinki.

We got on really well and, the more I saw him, the more I like him then BAM! He had news, bad news for me, but fantastic news for him: he had been offered a job in a multinational in Australia, you see, and he would be stupid to turn it town!

Inside, I kind of fell apart. I had returned to the UK at the end of August and this group of guys in London were kind of like a lifeline for me, a supportive solid network of existing friends who took me in and included me in their bizarre weekends!

Well, it is that special guy's birthday today! And I do believe that he will be 30 (or am I wrong?!). Anyway, here's a special message based around the same melody of Madonna's recent hit Hung Up:-

Time goes by so slowly when you're so far away
And my days are grey
You chose to run and you're having all the fun
I'm fucked off
I don't know what to do.

Time goes by so slowly, time goes by so slowly,
time goes by so slowly, You're so far away, can't sing Happy Birthday to you!

One thing I must say, though. It's your birthday and Your Disco Needs You, laughing boy!

Have a good one xx

NORMAL LIFE: My Name Is Madonna And I Am A Capitalist

So, sales for Madonna's forthcoming Confessions Tour go on sale in the UK tomorrow, with the first show in Cardiff (her first ever performance in Wales) on July 30th. Never afraid to court controversy, Maddie has done alright for herself.

In the gay world, Madonna is an icon, just like Kylie Minogue. You could imagine my disappointment when I read that ticket prices start at £80 and go up to £160. Um, sorry, is this a concert or a European flight I am paying for? Instantly, I turned on Madonna.

At 47, she doesn't look that great. She's skinny with oversized arms, can't dance and it's been a long time since she sang something half decent. And I'm referring to her Immaculate Collection days with Vogue, Like a Prayer and similar.

I think it's time for Maddie to confess: she's a capitalist and she's screwing fans for everything she can get. In contrast, Kylie Minogue only charged £38 for tickets to see her show. Who the hell does Madonna think she is, charging up to £160? Perhaps because she's American, the bitch thinks she's all that!

NORMAL LIFE: EU Enlargement - When Will It End?

An article in Helsinki's largest daily, the Helsingin Sanomat, reveals that Bulgaria and Romania still have every chance of joining the Union as early as the beginning of next year. But guess what is preventing their membership? The article mentions 'flourishing organised crime and deeply-rooted corruption'. Well, what are we waiting? Let them in!

Not since is was revealed that the EU was considering Turkish membership a couple of years back has the EU hit the headlines once again. I personally encourage European citizens to seek out opportunities in Europe. Living in Finland has been a wonderful experience on the whole, something that has only been possible since they joined the Union 1995.

When ten new countries joined the EU on May 1, 2004, the number of member states reached 25. Already, three years later the EU wants to recruit to more states reputedly rife with organised crime and corruption. Why can't it stop for a while? Why can't we at least agree on the Constitution before more states make it even more difficult to reach a consensus?

STEP BACK IN TIME: Flashback 46 now online!

Click on AUGUST 2003 to read:-
- FLASHBACK #46: Scandinavian Extravaganza (Pt.1)
- FLASHBACK #46: Scandinavian Extravaganza (Pt.2)
- FLASHBACK #46: Scandinavian Extravaganza (Pt.3)
- FLASHBACK #46: Scandinavian Extravaganza - Final Words

NORMAL LIFE: Spelling Mistakes Are A Small Price To Pay!

I read every issue of Finland's only English language magazine, SixDegrees. It’s one of those ‘free’ newspapers you can pick up in railway stations, cafés and on street corners aimed at spreading culture through Finland's very homogenous streets. It regularly features topical issues touching on politics, education and health.

I nearly fell off my chair when I read an article titled ‘Native Speakers Fail Online English Test’ (click on photo to read article). First of all, the writer (a Mr. Mike Bangle) points out that, by 2050, more than half of the world will use English everyday. Then, he launches a staunch attack of British people (who seem to be the only people speaking English), conveniently ignoring the other 250 million people who speak English as a first language each day in the forty-or-so lands that classify English as a national language.

Mr Bangle goes on to state that Brits 'do not know how to use their own language' claiming that a significant proportion of native English speakers cannot even spell, again conveniently ignoring the 250 million other people in the world that use English as a first language! In this day and age of mass publishing, this article proved that anybody can write drivel AND be published!

The rest of the article seems to focus purely on how 'Brits see email as an informal means of communication in which mistakes do not matter'. Now, Mr. Bangle, where does this evidence come from? Is this your personal opinion, or can you cite some credible studies to back this up? Indeed, the education system in the UK is in tatters and could do with a mass overhaul and, yes, I confess that I for one was never taught grammar whilst at school. How can a small Island such as the UK, however, not succumb to the influence of the other 250 million people out there who are distributing their own local forms - and spellings - of our wonderfully versatile language? I daresay Mr. Bangle has the solution.

I may be wrong, but I think Mr. Bangle may be suffering from what I call 'external egocentrism'; this is the term I give to those people who travel to where the 'grass is greener', adapt quite well, then rant and rave about how great their 'new' home is, literally rubbishing everything originating from his or her home country in the process. I, myself, went through this phase, but no matter how hard I try to make Finland sound more fantastic than the UK, it just isn't possible. The UK has more to offer in many different areas, but it lacks the safety, and the daily challenges that I have come to enjoy as an ex-pat.

Getting back to Mr. Bangle's article, he fails to address many issues. Firstly, the volume of textual information is huge what with email and internet usage. While bad spelling can be corrected with the simple execution of a spell check (available in most software), most packages are preconfigured with American English. Of course, that's real English, isn't it?! And what with the international communication these days, it's no wonder that native English speakers fall under the influence of words that are slightly mispelt.

Mr Bangle’s article reminded me of a day in the office not so long ago. A colleague came into my room, closed the door and told me a secret. Apparently, my boss (who is Finnish) had been commenting on MY bad English skills and this discussion was being held without my knowledge. Pah! There I was, just myself working twenty other Finns. If they think they can write and speak better English that I can, bring it on!

Rather than concentrate on the possible truth that a 'significant proportion of native English speakers cannot spell' (we have to believe that because self proclaimed authority figure, Alastair Creamer, says so!), shouldn’t we be rejoicing in the fact that our small Island gave birth to a language that has united millions (if not billions and, soon, billions more) of people from all over the world and is so wonderfully versatile that it’s constantly evolving?

I think a few spelling errors in an email is a small price to pay for this wonderful access to the world.