NORMAL LIFE: Facebook Ridiculousness!

I am going to come across really uptight now! Somebody is gonna tell me to take a chill pill, but come on! I have been BOUGHT and SOLD. Recently I was 'POKED' and, today, I was BOUGHT AS A PET.

Apparently, I was bought for €611, but I never knew I was for sale and I certainly didn't know I had suddenly turned into a guinea pig or a rabbit or whatever is the creature of choice these days. And, even more curiously, I earned €27 in profit, not a cent of which is in my bank account. I am thinking: what the fuck is this, people?!

Soon, I will have been RAPED or BITCH-SLAPPED without even realising it, but don't worry, I will get notified! How kind of Facebook to let me know this much at least, huh?