NORMAL LIFE: The Last Days

Today is my last day in the office. It's not even a full day - I am just hanging on for the subsidised lunch. Yep, I am leaving, and I don't even get a free lunch! Hmph! Anyway, in the build up to my leaving for Australia on Sunday, I have been feeling a bit headachey, bordering on flu. True, the air has got very cool this week so hearing it is 23C in Sydney has been pleasing to hear.

On Wednesday morning, once colleage came up to me and, as if afraid to ask, she asked if I was feeling sad. "No," I said, "why? What's happened?" wondering if something bad had happened to one of our colleagues. She chided me for being so unfeeling?! Me?! A Finn was accusing me of being unfeeling?! Classic! I explained that this is something I have wanted to do twelve years, five years before I even knew where Finland was located on Earth.

Then yesterday, in the morning, I suggest to the four engineers that we go out for a cheap lunch. One wasn't hungry, but I saw him go to lunch ten minute later. One had a dentist appointment in the afternoon and, understandably, had to cram his work into a shorter than usual day. Another said it was raining, and I explained that I planned to actually eat indoors. The other was just busy. I am like hello! What a miserable bunch of fuckers!, I thought to myself.

Not one to be deterred by the choices of others, I went to the Chinese restuarant in Pasila alone. As I ate, I watched the rain fall - it had rained for three days solid. I imagined sitting in a restaurant in Sydney - in my mind's eye, the sky magically turned blue and when I looked down at my plate, I wasn't looking at stodgy rice and what I can Finnish-Chinese food, I was looking down at grilled prawns and what might have been a Kangaroo burger, or whatever it is they eat down there! I grinned, again thinking: What a miserable bunch of fuckers! Hilarious!

At dead on 13:30, the colleagues had assembled in the announced area where the company would provide coffee and cake to the invited colleagues. Around thirty people turned up, and nervousness enveloped me very much like drapes covering ever bare inch of a window when drawn. While I realise that I am quite brash and outgoing, I am also sensitive and reserved at the strangest of times - this was not to be one of them, for I had truly put myself on the spot.

First, my supervisor gave a speech, particularly emphasising my live spirit and my social contribution to the team. At the very mention of that, I was once again reminded of the gift of hearing I had received back in 2001 and it's never-ending impact. Moved somewhat by the speech, I informed the crowd that I actually had a speech prepared, but let's take some coffee and cake and you can listen while I am speaking.

Everyone armed with coffee and cake, I proceed to belt out a poem I had written, titled The Days In Finland, which you can read here. The poem was very well received with many people mentioned afterwards that they didn't realise that I was so creative and talented. Not only has my photography improved significantly, I was being credited for my poetry, evidence that perhaps my next job needs to tap into the creative part of me.

I left the office shortly after, collecting my dirty laundry from the locker room and the last bits and pieces from my office cubile. With my office and locker, now looking rather bare, it still hasn't registered what I am about to do. It just hasn't hit me yet that, within days, I am going to be living several thousand miles away. With the gift of hearing, it pleased me to here that Kylie has confirmed that she will play in Sydney in December. Will I see her for the third time in a year? Perhaps I will be too busy surfing?