NORMAL LIFE: England & Wales

My colleagues at work are shocked that I even have any annual leave left, but yes, I am off again. This time, my break is a bit closer to home, sixteen days on the Island of my birth.

We will fly into London, visit Windsor Castle, spend four days in Devon, four days in Cornwall, five days in Wales, then a couple of days in London before spending a weekend in London. Fabulous days!

NORMAL LIFE: Importance Of Integration

It is the early hours of the morning and I have logged in because something is bugging me. One of Bree's 'deep' friends came round for drinks and, about an hour ago, they went out to have some drinks and do some dancing! Finally, I get a Saturday night to myself which, when you're in a relationship, is a rarity.

Instead of enjoying this rare piece of time to myself, however, I am feeling agitated. The Deep One was born in Germany, but moved to Finland when he was a toddler, just early enough to really integrate at all levels: culture, education, language, customs etc. Tonight, he spoke of a French girlfriend who has been living in Finland for fiteen years and, now 50+ years of age, has not learnt any Finnish whatsoever and is seeming somewhat 'lost'.

Reminded by the fact that yesterday was fifty days to the day when I depart for Australia, I spoke of my own exciting plans. He compared the French girlfriend's situation to mine when I mentioned that one of the things I am looking forward to is having everything in English: the option to study in English, access to English media etc.

The Deep One's French girlfriend feels frustrated when she can't understand what others are saying. Meanwhile, I bloody love it when I don't have to understand what others are saying. What the Deep-and-not-so-bloody-wise-One doesn't seem to realise is that I spent most of my childhood in silence. My deafness was so profound that I didn't absorb -nor did I ever enjoy - what are thought to be key parts of English culture.

I explained that, because of my hearing being the way it was and my related solitude, it is debatable whether or not I had even fully integrated into British society. Could it be that this undeliberate separatism through disability actually made it easier for me to leave England in the first place? Then the discussion got interesting: the Deep One asked me: "Where is your home?" and I immediately responded, with Bree nearby, that I honestly didn't know.

Deep down, I know that England isn't my home and, despite the fact that my Finnish isn't superb and, perhaps because of that, I haven't completed the path to true integration, I would like to consider Finland to be my home. Life is a journey and I honestly believe that, at 31, I still have a bit of exploring to do. Australia will probably be the last place I visit on what has been a whirlwind of discovering since being given the gift of hearing back in 2001.

So, why do I feel guilty for wanting to do this? If I had a choice between being a Finn and International, I would rather be an International. If that offends Finns to say that, then I am sorry, but our generation has the advantage of so many freedoms and I wish to utilise the freedom that our ancestors have fought to obtain. Without becoming too dramatic, however, I wish to restate that, at this moment in time, my plan is to go to Australia for one year and to return to Finland.

People's concern is understandable, however, because I have already left Finland once before. But let's backtrack: I left Finland because (a) I was being made redundant and (b) nearly everyone told me that I wouldn't be able to get another job because I didn't speak any Finnish. I proved them wrong when I was offered a job in May 2006 in a respectable role for an international firm. And guess what? I will prove them wrong again.

But will I make more of an effort to 'integrate' upon my return? Probably not. First of all, the limitations imposed on me by own officially recognised disability may prevent me from doing so, but we have to also consider that most of my friendships are based on the fact that the issue of nationality separates us yet, through English, unites us in ways more rich than if I were to meet another English person.

That is why I value my friends so much. Not only have they been fantastic in speaking my language, but I have learnt more from them than they could ever hope to learn from me! I acknowledge that here and now - you are all fantastic! I just wish the Deep One would look at the bigger picture and ask himself: how integrated are the Turks in Germany? Are they any less German because they may speak Turkish more often than German?

NORMAL LIFE: Oz Countdown - 50 Days

It wouldn't be normal if I told you that I didn't feel the slightest bit of apprehension about the forthcoming move to Australia. While daily life continues all around me, I seem somewhat preoccupied with the massive change that seems to shutting towards me.

With just fifty days to go, there's still lot's to do. I still haven't finalised my insurances, found a job, or budgeted for my initial arrival. After meeting my future room-mate yesterday, Tools, I have kind of decided to take a less stressed approach. After all, if anything, like has proven to me that things always work out in the end.

Let's see how quickly the next fifty days go...

NORMAL LIFE: Tools Is Cool!

Tools, the Finnish girl living in Sydney, is currently in Finland on her summer holidays. At a mutual friend's recommendation, the two of us met up yesterday for the first time. I should not have bothered getting nervous ahead of our meeting because we just gelled, you know.

We met outside Stockmanns and spent the evening downing sweet cider after sweet cider at the outdoor terraces in Mikonkatu. Tools updated me on her man troubles, I confided in her Bree's feelings about my upcoming trip to Australia. All the seriousness aside, we proceeded to giggle, with Tools declaring that I was 'funny ha-ha' not so much 'funny-la-la'!

Tools likes to cook, I like to iron and, without even realising it, we seemed to be devising a daily house rota like a pair of newlyweds! We had such a giggle, and I felt somewhat relieved that yet another part of the move-to-Australia jigsaw puzzle had fallen into place.

Don't you just believe that things - and the people that come into our life - happen for a reason? I met Vlad and Miss Knight through Hill, an English guy who used to live in Finland. Meanwhile, I met Tools through Mama Savolainen.

Thankyou, Mama Savolainen and, Tools, can't wait to party with you, babes!

NORMAL LIFE: Country Ditching

The last year has seen me travel to many places. Normally, I am very willing to revisit places, hoping to find hidden treasures off the beaten track. Here and now, however, I have started 'ditching' countries. Read on to find out which ones.

First on my list is Norway. Perhaps one of the most visually stunning countries I have ever visited, it is disapointingly expensive (€35 for hamburger and chips) and everything is so far away. I have been there three times so I guess the time has come to burn some money elsewhere.

Next comes Sweden, land of Abba, Volvo and not much else. I have driven a bit in Sweden, from Stockholm to Sundsvall to Åre, on my way to Norway. Most of my time has been spent in Stockholm, however, where the weather has always been fantastic, but the place has been lacking newness. After Gamla Stan, what else is there?

Denmark is another bloody expensive country with very little to see. The whole country is pretty flat and featurless, with a lot of art and design going on. Once you have done Copenhagen, whose most famous tourist attraction is, apparently, a life-size statue of Hans Christian's Andersson's Little Mermaid, there's little reason to go back. I have been three times so why bother?

Spain. I have done the cheap and cheerful islands, and a recent visit to Barcelona and Sitges on the mainland left me unimpressed. The food is the same everwhere you go and the Spanish have a more-than-obvious resentment towards tourists. By the way, I really think they should knock down the Sagrada de Familia church because the last thing Spain needs is another church that takes more than a couple of centuries to build!

I can't say that I would write off Portugal completely. Madeira was fantastic and I yearn to visit the Azores. The mainland, however, can shove off. Poor compared to it's Spanish neighbours, I find Portugal to be very similar to both Spain and Italy. In fact, I find them too similar to warrant further visits, but then I think that's the mediterranean for you, isn't it?

Click here to visit my Travelog!

NORMAL LIFE: A Long Way

KYLIE: Miss Minogue, OBE

On this very day, Kylie Minogue has paid a visit to Buckingham Palace to collect her honour. Miss Minogue, now appointed an Officer of the British Empire for her contribution to music, has certainly resign her cancer ordeal to the past.

In attendance were parents Ron and Carol, her sister Dannii (forever in Kylie's shadow these days it seems) and her manager, Terry, who I am sad to say still hasn't responded to my plea to meet this wonderful woman.

Kylie continues to go from strength to strength, which is more than I can say for the French so-called actor who dumped her. What's his name again? Life after the frog seems to get better and better for Miss Minogue!

NORMAL LIFE: My Own Vanity & The Boss' Envy

My month starts off quite disappointingly, with some stern words from my acting manager. Before I go onto that, however, I have to just write something about last Weekend In Oulu.

I was there, with two fellow amateur photographers, both of which were dweeby, academic-looking types replete with glasses. Both of them were weedy, looking a bit on the poor side with their badly fitting clothes and country-bumpkin, laid back approach to all things in life.

On one of the evenings, the three of us went to the bar and, for perhaps the first time in my entire life, I felt embarrassed to actually be seen with somebody in public. I'm no oil painting myself, but standing next to these two guys was not going to get me any favourable attention. Or so I thought. Within half an hour or so, a young 26-year-old started chatting me up, much to the disappointment of my fellow photographers. Anyway...

When I got into the office yesterday morning and my acting boss called me into his room, it was to discuss my projects prior to leaving the company in nine weeks time. What was outstanding? What has/could be dome to wrap up the outstanding work? Who will take on any uncompleted work come the day of my departure?

Rather suddenly, the tone of the discussion change with my acting boss pointing out that my "behaviour, or something in my personality, was having a negative effect on the team". I was somewhat stunned. I have a surprisingly good working relationship with all of those around me. I am flexible, considerate, always democratic in my approach. I have received some very positive feedback in my time, but I couldn't help but sense the envy: was he putting me down because I was actually getting out of this place?

The firm is in a terrible state. Not only are the workforce demotivated, the firm's share value has halved in the last year, a sign that things are not going well both inside and outside the organisation. I listened intently, taking his comments on board, sensing that I was not entirely the problem. Don't you sometimes wish something would beam you up, like they do in the Star Trek to get out of a sticky spot? Unfortunately, I don't know a Scotty with this kind of power at his disposal.

The thirties, I now realise, are a funny time. Life somehow stabilises and you actually take the time to analyse your own behaviour and their affect on others, something you would not have wasted time doing during your twenties because you were self-centred, fabulous and too busy living life. Nobody is perfect and that extends to myself. My vanity last weekend shocked me, however, as did my boss' overtly expressed envy. Still, just nine weeks to go until the next chapter begins!

NORMAL LIFE: Planning, But Not!

Having just returned to the office after a period of absence, I had to laugh at an email message I received from a colleague in another department. He started off the email with a rather exciting "We are planning a traditional summer picnic...", but it turned out that he wasn't actually planning anything at all.

In the first few sentences, the invitation seemed rather appealing, albeit very dependent on the not-so-dependable Finnish weather since the location of the picnic was Suomenlinna, the sea fortress off the coast of Helsinki. The message continued:

"Picnic in this case means:

• you bring your own food/snacks
• you bring your own drinks
• you bring swimming gear if you dare confront the sea
• balls, frisbees and othe outdoor games are welcome
• no transportation arranged
• after-sun get-together later in the evening somewhere downtown"

My question remains: what has the guy actually 'planned'? Hello, clunk clunk! It sounds like a desparate plea for company, the guy clearly needs to get out more!