NORMAL LIFE: One Hell Of A Woman's Problem!

As part of my work, I had to spend a morning in a Maternity Hospital. When you think of a Maternity Hospital, you tend to think of babies being born, premature babies being cared for and happy parents leaving the hospital with newborns in their arms.

When I went to the hopsital yesterday at 7am, however, nothing could have prepared me for witnessing a hysterectomy! Yes, I actually saw a very frightened woman in her late 40s get wheeled into the Operating Room and, after her hypnosis level was deep enough following an epidural and a strong anaesthetic, the radio was switched on and the staff chatted as they performed a laparotomy.

I watched the monitors and observed how the medical products were used in the Operating Room, until I was alerted to the uterus which had been removed from deep in the woman's abdomen. It look like a heart (see blog entry, Trust Me, I'm A Surgeon, dated 24 May '06), about the size of a couple of bread rolls. While a normal, healthy uterus weighs approximately 100 grams - so I was told - this one weighed in at a hefty 667 grams. Crikey!

Again, I was amazed at how these people do what they do for living! For certain, every surgeon's contribution to society is enormous, but with ever increasing emphasis on cost, one can't help but think what is it all for? Why do we, as humans, harbour a desire to challenge each and every disease that Mother Nature challenges us with?

I've always believed that the affliction of disease is the world's, nature's or God's way of controlling the population, but with Healthcare being so efficient these days (except for Britain's NHS perhaps!), technology is surely keeping people alive for longer. It will be interesting, then, to see how governments handle healthcare in the future.

NORMAL LIFE: Studying Finnish...Again!

With the sky getting darker earlier and earlier each evening, you can feel that Winter is returning to Finland once again. So it felt natural when, today, I sat in my first evening Finnish class of the winter term. I'm in Level 3 out of a possible five levels with the University of Helsinki and tonight's class was certainly an eye-opener.

In my recent study of Consumer Ethnocentrism in 21st Century Finland form my Masters Degree (which I submitted to my University last week), I claimed that there was yet to be evidence of Finnish society becoming multicultural. In my lesson tonight, I was godsmacked - there was a wealthy to do man from Africa, an Egyptian, several philipinos, a chinaman and a nun - from Poland - in a snow-white habit with blue ribbons very much like that worn by Mother Theresa.

As far as the Finnish lesson was concerned, our tutor is a well-spoken women in her late 50's with just one rule: No Speaking In English! Instead, we have to converse AT ALL TIMES in Finnish. We will be learning konditionaali, monikko, imperatiivi, passiivi and possessisuffiksi during this course. Already, I'm like, what?!

NORMAL LIFE: Popeye, My Engineer

Another wild night out with work and yet another revelation. It's been a hectic two weeks and now that it's Friday afternoon, I'm started to reflect on what I have done, what I have acheived and where to go from here. Why all the deep reflection? Well, I submitted my Masters dissertation today and, rather than feeling elated, I feel a little bit depressed. Perhaps it's the anticlimax, the fact that it's all over and that I can't talk about my favourite subject, Ethnocentrism, anymore.

Last weekend, I went to Lapland (see here) and this week has been spent with my American colleagues who I have teased endlessly for not even having their own language. Rather, American English is a dialect of English itself. God, they hate it when I illustrate the sheer stupidity of their version of English. For example, if an American gives me a bill (as in $10 bill), I don't owe him anything, do I? If I give an American a cheque (spelt check in the States), I'm not making some money payable to him, but I'm giving him a bill. God, it's bizarre. And if Brits and Americans say po-tay-toe, why do the Americans insist on pronouncing tomatoe as to-may-to rather than to-mar-to like us? God, I'm not ethnocentric, am I?!

More interestingly was the night out with my closest colleagues last night. After having a Finnish sauna with my colleagues, we headed downtown (another Americanism which should be 'into town') to Kaarle, one of Helsinki's more superficial nightclubs where desperate businessmen want to show of their suit and ties (not to mention their money) to girls half their age. At this point, I will introduce Popeye, the Engineer for my products. Why do I call him Popeye? I don't know, really, it's just he's quite masculine and he's always trying to get his point across, very much like the cartoon character himself.

Anyway, as the night wore on, we drank more and then Popeye asked me if I would like to dance. If he was gay, I would have definitely because he's quite a spunk (now I've gone all Australian) I have to admit! Of course, I had to tell him to fuck off, but then I said, without thinking, "Maybe at Christmas". He looked at me for a minute, reluctant to tell me what was on his mind. He asked me if he could ask me a personal question and I knew that he was going to question my sexual orientation. I said "You don't need to ask, I confirm!" He was cool about it. In fact, he hugged me. It was at this point that I was worried. His strong hug actually turned me on and I have spent most of today regretting my revelation.

With my concerns unbeknownst to him, we chatted for most of the evening, danced with our colleagues and, as I walked home in the early hours, I attempted to call him. His phone went to voicemail, I left a message and he called me back. We chatted for another 20 minutes and my mind started to get all irrational. Do I now need to leave the company because I revealed something very personal to a male colleague? When he hugged me like that, had I made it easier for him to reveal something about himself? The guy is married and I wouldn't dream of doing something, but what if he suddenly decided to use his knowledge to blackmail me? Bree and I are only too aware of people who are willing to do that in order to further their own agenda.

While I may not be overtly 'obvious' to many, it's natural that some people suspect when I tell them I have been living in Finland nearly five years and don't have a girlfriend. Later in the evening, I told the Redhead (see here) that Popeye knows what she also knows. Since the three of us actually work quite close together on a product portfolio, surely we can now focus on the work rather than is he or isn't he? The Redhead, drunk by this time, hugged the two of us and screamed "We're like one big happy family!"

NORMAL LIFE: First Time In Lapland: 8th - 11th September, 2006

Well, depending on who you listen to, this was my first time to Lapland. I had been to Rovaniemi one Christmas, but never further north. On this trip, however, we flew to Rovaniemi, but then spent the first night in Kolari (928km north of Helsinki, 163km north of the Arctic Circle). Our host for the night was the partner of Bree's friend Inkeri, who we reached just after midnight. On arrival, he offered us drinks and a slice of Elk pie laced with cherry tomatoes. It was surprisingly delicious and, after 2am, we were all in bed.

I woke up 5 minutes before Bree did, who was woken up by the ringing of the doorbell. Apparently, our hosts friend has turned up to take him away to help celebrate a friend's 50th birthday in Roveniemi. Over a quick breakfast of coffee and sandwiches, our hosts friend entertained us. Born and bred in Muonio, he has lived here all 24 of his years while, in fact, he was 46! I asked him if he had family in Muonio and, with a wide smile planed on a rosy face reminiscent of Santa Claus', he patted his round stomach and claimed that he's been waiting to give birth for years to which the kitchen erupted in yet more laughter. Despite his northern accent, his English was impeccable. When the visitor and our host left, the three of us remained.

After a quick shower, we too were off, bound for Muonio, a further 70kms north. Just after lunchtime, we collected the keys for our Wilderness Cabin from the welcoming Harriniva Hotel before heading into the centre of modest Muonio (pop. 4,000) where there seemed to be nothing more than an Alko store, a supermarket and a cash machine. After buying the essentials (including some booze for the cosy nights in!), we drove through the surrounding area that ran alongside River Muonio. For fun, we crossed the border into Sweden, did a u-turn and re-entered Finland over a bridge that stretched across the River Muonio.

Continuing our drive, we drove to Pallastunturi, passing many reindeer along the way. At 3.30pm, we set off from the base of Pallastunturi and took the steady trek up to Taivaskero (807m), the highest of the Pallas hills. At the top, amidst the wind, we took time out to rest and to read the mound that represents the start of Finland's Olympic Flame back in 1952. From the top, you could see the forests below to the north and many lakes and hills to the south while, in the west the sun began its late afternoon descent.

During our descent, Bree and Inkeri began to pick and eat the wild blueberries. I refused, claiming that you don't know how many reindeers have pissed on those berries. Ignoring my comments, they continued to munch away. Annoyed by their moans of delight, I gave in and once I tasted a blueberry, I was hooked. Trailing behind them every now and then, I grabbed some more blueberries, shamed by my earlier reluctance to partake in this Finnish pastime. Not far from base, Bree burst into song, belting out something operatic. He has a wonderful voice - the song was obviously a popular Finnish song for, quite soon, Inkeri joined in. I looked back at the hills behind us, clicking away to the sound of Finnish song. The weather was perfect, the scenery was perfect, the company was perfect and those berries were gorgeous!

We got back to base about 7.30pm, and headed to Jerisjärvi which is where our Wilderness Cabin was supposedly located. We had a near-miss with a reindeer who dashed back into the forest as quickly as he had dashed onto the road. Great driving from Inkeri, who is familiar with these roads and the clumsy wildlife, saved us from a collission. By 8.30pm, we had arrived at densely forested area of Jerisjarvi. A few minutes after turning off at Nivunkajärvi, our wilderness cabin came into view, a rather large house with a sauna suite in a separate outbuilding. In the distance, some 400metres away, was the lake.

We unloaded the car, put all the food in the fridge, put the wine in the freezer to speed up it's chilling and put wood in the fire and the sauna. For dinner, we ate chicken and rice before Bree and I went for a nice sauna. As we made our way to the sauna suite in the nearby outbuilding, I glanced up at the moonlit sky dotted with countless bright shining stars. Later, all three of us back in the house, we downed sweet Cafe liquer with a Finnish desert, Juustoleipä (translation: Cheese Bread). Yummy! I fell asleep quite quickly in the warm kitchen area and slept like a log, but not before looking up out at the stars of the nearby window, under which my bed was situated

We woke up at 10 and I felt quite refreshed. After a breakfast, during which a herd of reindeers roamed outside the kitchen window, I washed in the nearby outbuilding using the leftover warm water from the sauna. Shortly afterwards, we headed to the base of nearby Sarkitunturi, which sits on the edge of Sarkijärvi. We started our steady walk up through the hells, a very pleasant trail with a couple of dips. On the way, we noticed some ponds that were well below their normal water level as a result of Finland having had the driest summer in more than 100 years.

Just after 1pm, we reached the top of Särkitunturi (492m). When I looked back, I was amazed by the views; you could see the nearby lakes of Jerisjärvi, Akäsjärvi and Särkijärvi, all of which were surrounded by densely arranged trees changing colour as we headed towards Autumn. You could also see Taivaskero (807m), the peak we had scaled yesterday. As we headed to the other side of the peak, we saw blue berries, cranberries, crow berries as well as wild mushrooms. We headed back to the nearby kota (a tee-pee like structure), and grilled sausages. What an experience!

As we descended, the lowering sun cast a warm glow over the countless spruce trees. We arrived at base at 3.30pm and headed to the souvenir store at nearby Muonio. Choosing not to buy anything, we went to the nearby Esso garage for a quick cup of coffee before heading to Harriiniva, the hotel we had collected they keys from the day before, to see the huskies.

Our tour started at 5pm and there were five of us plus our host. It was fantastic - the huskies, some were on leads tied to dog houses while most were locked up in spacious cages, really liked me. However, there was one husky which was so shy that neither Bree nor I succeeded in befriending it. We held puppies, saw unusual-looking husky mongrels and even a husky with different coloured eyes. Bizzare, but cute!

It was 7pm by the time the tour ended and when our host finally managed to stop talking; she was very entertaining and you left with envy, knowing that she literally loved her work. We headed straight back to Nivunkijärvi, where Inkeri's partner was waiting for us. Upon arrival, I headed straight to the shore to capture the sun's warm glow on camera. Getting to the shorline amidst the tangle of bushes and 2 metre high weeds was a feat in itself, but when I finally reached the shoreline, the lake reminded me of that time just before I left Tampere (see Flashback #44, July 2003), when I felt at one with the nature of Finland.

Just ten metres from the cabin, I totally froze. In front of me was a wolf, heading towards me very slowly. I glanced at the open door to the cabin, wondering whether I could make a dash for it. Suddenly, the wolf wagged it's tail and started puffing playfully. It was at this time that I noticed the wolf had a band around it's neck and, as I raised my hand to welcome it, he sped towards me. He huffed and puffed happily, letting out a shriek of excitement. I called for Bree and, when he came to the door, I told him how I nearly got eaten by a wolf. Him and Inkeri laughed hard and, after some petting, the dog ran off. It certainly had been a day for dogs!

The evening was spent in the sauna once again, the four of us settling down for a lovely dinner and some wine before falling into bed in the early hours. Again, as I lay in bed, I could see the stars that dotted the sky and again I slept quite easily. In fact, I slept so deeply that it was difficult to actually wake up the next morning. We woke up at 8am, for we had to get to Rovaniemi in time for our 2pm flight. After a quick breakfast, we loaded up the car, returned the keys to Harriniva and began the three hour journey back to Rovaniemi; for the whole journey, the three of us chatted, covering every subject under the sun. At one point, we even ventured into a political debate so the subject was quickly changed to avoid a roadside row! We made it to the airport just 30 minutes before the flight, just enough time to check into the tiny airport and grab a coffee in the upstairs cafe.

I never have much luck on planes, but I'm lucky that I can just switched off my ears for, onboard, were some twenty rowdy Italian youngsters; by god, they didn't shut up and they were shouting up and down the plane. Despite the noise, I admired the view below as the plane soared into the sky. I already know that I will go back to Lapland again - I just hope it's sooner rather than later!

NORMAL LIFE: Understanding Mrs. Hyde's Behaviour

Following on from my previous entry (see here), I got an insight into how Mrs Hyde's mind works. As usual, we all headed down to lunch and, due to unfortunately timed seating, I ended up sat opposite Mrs Hyde. Continuing to ignore me as she has done for a good few months now, I broke the ice by asking her how her summer holiday went. She said it was okay. I asked how the weather was, as she had taken her holiday in August, not the warmest month in Finland. She said it was okay, just nice to be out of the office. And she elaborated with something like I had to take my holiday in August because you had yours in July.

The way she said it caught my other colleague's attention and, without stopping, Mrs Hyde declared that I would be taking my holiday in August next year because I was the youngest. At this point, a third colleague intervened by claiming that kind of attitude was absurd. I jumped in, saying that I would gladly take my holiday in August as there was always less work to do in July and it would be nice to be out of the office when there is work?!! What is it about Finns and their obsession to have their holiday in July?! It's sooo pathetic.

Imagine, this woman has ignored me for a good four months just before I was given the right to go on holiday in July. She felt that, because I was the youngest, I should have had that least favourable holiday time. How backward is that, eh? But I think it goes deeper than this. She's perpetually unhappy, as has been observed - and discussed - by various members of staff and she never stays for the duration of a meeting, always making an excuse to leave early.

She's either lacking in self esteem, perhaps she has bitten off more than she can chew with her job or she is having problems at home, or she's unhappy with her job hence the wish to be excused early from meetings. If anything, I feel sorry for the girl for her every movement is being analysed by a staff that just can't seem to work her out. But what can you do? How can you motivate people who, quite clearly, can't even engage in a proper conversation without biting your head off let alone take advice?

NORMAL LIFE: Nick in London (1st-3rd of September, 2006)

I had a one flight left over from a reverse Helsinki-London-Helsinki flight so I booked a cheap Ryanair return (costing just £23) and went to see my friend Nick in London for the weekend. It's funny really, I treat aeroplanes likes cabs - I like to travel and I don't tire so easily like some people do. On the early morning flight, I had the three seats on the left side of the plane to myself so, planting myself in the middle, I got to work on proofreading/adding the final commnets to my dissertation. To the right were three young, tarty looking Finnish girls. Their excitement at visiting London was as visible as the dark eyeliner each of them had applied to their faces.

Anyway, the BA flight touched down at Heathrow at 9am and I headed straight for the tube; the tube is always an adventure. I jumped onto one of the trains, but noticed that a sign said that the other train was highlighted as 'The First Training To London' so I changed train, didn't I? After settling myself down, I noticed other people were following suit. Imagine my dismay when the other train departed first! And that wasn't the worst of it: within minutes, I had a man with overwhelming BO sitting on my right with a feminine guy sitting to my left, watching me fiddle through the songs on my MP3 player religiously. Sitting opposite me were three Indians - they seemed like grandparents (the woman was dressed in a beautiful sari) and a grandson in his early twenties. They chatted excitedly, obviously catching up after their arrival in the UK.

When I arrived at Victoria, I boarded the training to West Norwood. I was the only one of the train, which was lovely! As the train pulled into Balham station, I noticed a pub called 'The Bedford' which reminded me of Bree for he articlises everything e.g. when you go to the Germany.

By 11am, I was drinking coffee in Nick's kitchen in West Norwood. We catched up and I listened intently to Nick telling me about his recent clash with the chair in the living room which results in an unbelievable knee injury for which he was struggling to get physiotherapy for on the NHS. His situation angered me and was a reminder of how bad the health service had got in the UK.

Nick and I decided to head into Clapham for some lunch, and to do some shopping. We ended up at the KFC, something we don't have in Finland. We relaxed back home in the afternoon and I laughed with Nick that, these days, flights are like cabs. We calls me a jetsetter every now and then, but honestly: I had an unused flight so I thought why not use it.

We headed out into the West End about 7pm. We checked out Virgin and HMV for the DVDs, went to the Duke of Wellington pub in Soho, then for Chinese in China Town, followed by a last one at the Admiral Duncan in gay Old Compton Street. We both got on the last tube back to Victoria, Nick trying his best to hobble along with the crowd. When we got back to West Norwood, however, I decided to go out as I must have been overtired because I didn't feel tired.

On my way back at 3am, weirdness struck again like it tends to do on public transport; sitting on the top of a double decker red bus (how British!), the couple sitting in front of me were eco-warrior types. You know, the ones who always wear scarves and never wash their hair? The thing is they were reciting Shakespeare to one another - why won't they just that guy rest in peace? It's true though that London's people are weirdly beautiful, a diverse as the clouds that grace the skies each day. As I walked the final 500 metres to 'home', I passed a church packed with a turban-wearing congregation. It was 3.30am, I wondered as shook my head in confusion. My wonderment was disturbed with the wailing of a nearby car alarm.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than the others for my body clock was 2 hours ahead (on Finnish time), wasn't it?! It was a very mellow day - we went shopping in Victoria and, with a plan to watch TV during the evening, I bought some jump chicken drumsticks from Marks & Spencers. Couple with salad and Rose wine, we watched the impressive comic movie, Fantastic 4 (blimey, the one who regular catched fire set me on fire, he's gorgeous!), and some episodes of a hilarious Australian Comedy, Kath & Kim.

When we woke up the next morning, Nick's landlord, let's call him the German, joined us for breakfast. Well, he had some kind of fried vegetables with curry powder while we had good old, traditional English bacon rolls smattered with ketchup. Yum! This German is a very interesting character - he has been living in the UK for 8 years and has been very successful in his work, although he really thinks he's the bees knees and is constantly thinking he should be paid more. The funny thing is that our conversations always turn to politics and we always end up arguing over stupid things which leads me to two conclusion - either he doesn't have enough social stimulating conversation or he's a frustrated foreigner who can't leave simply because he feels trapped by the favourable circumstances he is currently in.

Whatever the case, we had a ridiculous conversation about how English has become the global language and, apparently, it was my fault. While the English started the global diffusion of language through the commonwealth, it was actually the American's that have continued and literally forced it onto everyone. We agree upon that much, and I also claimed that the world could just have easily been speaking French, German or Spanish, but the English clearly made the biggest mark. He didn't like that at all, and then started accusing me of not knowing my history. What is it with people who claim to know our own history better than they do? I mean, the history we are taught has ready about has in fact been written - and re-written - countless times so who really does know the real story? Get over it!

Anyway, the German is an argumentative one and, even after attempting to change the subject, he would somehow manage to find a way to get back onto the subject again. One thing I can't stand is people who can't let things go! I left that house, quite gladly actually, after 1pm. I had a long journey to Stansted airport for my 5pm flight - I was better prepared for the flight this time after the drama two weeks earlier when Bree and I flew in and out of Stansted. Let's just say that the second time around things didn't go much better, BUT my luggage arrived at the other end. As usual, as I dozed on the AirPro bus bound for Helsinki, I was happy. Another exhausting but fun weekend under my belt, but nothing beats going home to Bree.

NORMAL LIFE: Dr Jeckyl & Mrs Hyde

Remember the moral, treat others as you would like to be treated? Well, isn't it hard when the person you sit next to everyday barely says a word to you? It's now four days since my miserable-as-hell colleague returned from her summer holiday and she hasn't even said hello, although she has spoken to everyone else. While the others in my team have been courteous to welcome me to the company, she's just made it so clear that she doesn't want me here!

Or so I thought. You see, this woman in her early 30s is a complex case. When I was in Chicago recently, I confided in a colleague who told me that, before I started, she was the one who was ignored by the miserable so-and-so. And there was also someone else before her. So, my colleague clearly has an issue with new people. During the same visit, however, I learned from another colleague that I was actually the miserable one's first choice out of all the candidates interviewed.

Does she now regret the decision, I wonder? While she seems totally oblivious to the fact that I exist, every time our American boss comes to visit, she's the first to offer help and assistance. God, hypocrisy is one thing I cannot stand. Nobody likes an arse-licker, do they? The thing is, I feel sorry for the girl because, when my boss recently promoted me, she told me that she'd heard about the girl's behaviour and asked if it was affecting my work. Of course, her ignorance wasn't affecting my work (I've handled worse before, believe me!), but clearly the girl is being 'watched', something I certainly don't envy.

There's so many problems in the world that sometimes I wonder why can't people just get on? If anything, I've certainly met a real life Dr Jeckyl /Mrs Hyde!

NORMAL LIFE: A Bit Of Reflection

Uskomatonta on syyskuu! Yes, I can't believe it's September already. This time last year, I had just left Finland and in December, I will definitely celebrate the fact that I returned because it was soooo the right thing to do.

As the summer draws to a close and the evenings start to get darker and cooler, you often reflect on what you have done this summer, how you have made it memorable, what you did to make the best of Finland's driest summer in 100 years (see here).

Because I started my new job in May, I haven't had the one month holiday enjoyed by most Finns. Instead, I took two weeks off, using up the hours I had accumulated by working overtime. This time was spent visiting Croatia (no blog entry just yet, what this space!) which was shortly followed by an eight-day business trip to Chicago (see here).

The rest of the summer has been sent lounging around at Bree's family summer cottage and swimming amidst the frantic swimmers at Helsinki's outdoor swimming pool. We even managed to fit in a weekend together in the UK, where we visited Stonehenge and Oxford (see here).

At the same time, I have been finalising my Masters Degree in Marketing, aimed at 'measuring the degree of Consumer Ethnocentrism in 21st Century Finland'. My subject has been very well received and, last Sunday, I had a ready draft of 123 pages! Just as well really, as I need to get it printed and sent to the UK within two weeks for binding and submission to the University.

As the summer is drawing to a close, I've started stressing over what to do with my life after the Masters Degree so I've come up with some projects:

1. 2004 and 2005 entries to this blog
2. Put all my favourite photos onto DVD
3. Restart my Finnish studies
4. Start the writing of a book about my family
5. Exercise (gym, swimming, ice-skating on the lakes)

One usually hates the onset of winter, but if you can look back and claim you are happy with the way you spent the summer, those cold winter evenings provide an ideal opportunity to look back at the summer photos and reminisce, sparking up ideas for the next summer.