NORMAL LIFE: Popeye, My Engineer

Another wild night out with work and yet another revelation. It's been a hectic two weeks and now that it's Friday afternoon, I'm started to reflect on what I have done, what I have acheived and where to go from here. Why all the deep reflection? Well, I submitted my Masters dissertation today and, rather than feeling elated, I feel a little bit depressed. Perhaps it's the anticlimax, the fact that it's all over and that I can't talk about my favourite subject, Ethnocentrism, anymore.

Last weekend, I went to Lapland (see here) and this week has been spent with my American colleagues who I have teased endlessly for not even having their own language. Rather, American English is a dialect of English itself. God, they hate it when I illustrate the sheer stupidity of their version of English. For example, if an American gives me a bill (as in $10 bill), I don't owe him anything, do I? If I give an American a cheque (spelt check in the States), I'm not making some money payable to him, but I'm giving him a bill. God, it's bizarre. And if Brits and Americans say po-tay-toe, why do the Americans insist on pronouncing tomatoe as to-may-to rather than to-mar-to like us? God, I'm not ethnocentric, am I?!

More interestingly was the night out with my closest colleagues last night. After having a Finnish sauna with my colleagues, we headed downtown (another Americanism which should be 'into town') to Kaarle, one of Helsinki's more superficial nightclubs where desperate businessmen want to show of their suit and ties (not to mention their money) to girls half their age. At this point, I will introduce Popeye, the Engineer for my products. Why do I call him Popeye? I don't know, really, it's just he's quite masculine and he's always trying to get his point across, very much like the cartoon character himself.

Anyway, as the night wore on, we drank more and then Popeye asked me if I would like to dance. If he was gay, I would have definitely because he's quite a spunk (now I've gone all Australian) I have to admit! Of course, I had to tell him to fuck off, but then I said, without thinking, "Maybe at Christmas". He looked at me for a minute, reluctant to tell me what was on his mind. He asked me if he could ask me a personal question and I knew that he was going to question my sexual orientation. I said "You don't need to ask, I confirm!" He was cool about it. In fact, he hugged me. It was at this point that I was worried. His strong hug actually turned me on and I have spent most of today regretting my revelation.

With my concerns unbeknownst to him, we chatted for most of the evening, danced with our colleagues and, as I walked home in the early hours, I attempted to call him. His phone went to voicemail, I left a message and he called me back. We chatted for another 20 minutes and my mind started to get all irrational. Do I now need to leave the company because I revealed something very personal to a male colleague? When he hugged me like that, had I made it easier for him to reveal something about himself? The guy is married and I wouldn't dream of doing something, but what if he suddenly decided to use his knowledge to blackmail me? Bree and I are only too aware of people who are willing to do that in order to further their own agenda.

While I may not be overtly 'obvious' to many, it's natural that some people suspect when I tell them I have been living in Finland nearly five years and don't have a girlfriend. Later in the evening, I told the Redhead (see here) that Popeye knows what she also knows. Since the three of us actually work quite close together on a product portfolio, surely we can now focus on the work rather than is he or isn't he? The Redhead, drunk by this time, hugged the two of us and screamed "We're like one big happy family!"