NORMAL LIFE: Ten Days In UK

And so my ten days in the UK came to an end. My trip to the land of overrated football, god-awful TV-soaps and ever-popular fast food left me feeling like I was a foreigner in my own country. Clearly, I have been away too long. TV has become very American with per-hour of TV seemingly dominated by adverts (long live the BBC!) while Soaps seem to appear on every channel literally every day of the week (how sad!). And is it just my imagination or are David Beckham and Victoria still in the papers every day? It's just sad, sad, sad! And even the broadsheet newspapers have started reporting on who is sleeping with who in a bid to satisfy a very nosey nation's thirst for information that serves no personal purpose whatsoever.

New Labour - what a ridiculously inadequate name for a political party that fails to deliver anything new - has become a shambles. For some reason, Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, simply had to tell the nation about his two-year affair with his secretary. And why? No one knows, but are you interested in who he's been knobbing? I'm not! And then comes along Charles Clarke, the Home Secretary, who admitted that 1,023 foreign criminals were released, but not deported in line with policy. We know their names, but we don't know where the rapists, murderers and thieves are! Is this really what Great Britain has spiralled into?

And that's not to get me started on the Chavs that seem to run amok in British society today. What's a Chav?, I asked myself. Chav is the new word that has sprung up while I have been away which describes a person who dons flashy jewellery and counterfeit designer clothing, is uneducated and uncultured and from an impoverished background. A Chav also has a tendency to congregate around places such as fast-food outlets, bus stops, or other shopping areas, and is often associated with antisocial behaviour. Which brings us to a new classist term, ASBO, which stands for Anti Social Behaviour Disorder. What has amazed me is, over the last few years, we seem to be degenerating into a classist country once again. I freely admit that putting people into boxes and categorising/stereotyping them is wrong. However, these Chavs and people who seemingly want to do nothing, but inconvenience the public and the authorities have no place in today's society. I think a lot of the electorate would respect a government who rounded up these young, miserable, idle-minded fuckers and incarcerated them.

But that's not to say that my trip to the UK was a complete washout. Oh, no! To begin with, I spent three days with my sister. It was our birthday's recently so we decided to do something different; we visited a friend of mine in Liverpool and went out for the evening into the bustling town. The next day, we went to Alton Towers and, the day after that, paid a visit to Cadbury World in Bournville, Birmingham Yummy! It was a great, but exhausting trip which was preceded by a drama of sorts.


When I first arrived at Heathrow Airport, I made my way to where my family live using my usual public transport route. When I got off the train and waited for my Father to pick me up, I realise I had left my suitcase on the train! Beset with panic, I rushed to the station office and reported the 'loss'. This late at night, the train would go out of service after arriving in Peterborough so there was nothing that could be done. To cut a long story short, I needed to take a train to Peterborough the following morning to collect the luggage. 'What a kerfuffle', as Lou from Little Britain would say!

After our trip up north, I spent three days with my Father. My Mother was in hospital recovering from an operation so we spent some time working on the gardens as a surprise. As time ran out before my Mother's return home, it felt like a Ground Force moment with animated music and activity as we rushed to finish the front path we had constructed. My Mother was delighted with the mown lawns, the turned over flowerbeds and the front patio and path.

The seventh evening was spent with my other sister, her husband and my gorgeous neice who is nearly 2 and a half years old! She's soooo cute and my sister did me proud when she presented me with a Steak and Kidney Pie surrounded by vegetables followed by a hot treacle pudding drizzled with hot custard. How English can you get, eh?!

The next day, my Mother was discharged from hospital. After spending a few hours with the family, it was time to see my friend Nick in London. We spent the Friday and Saturday nights together, catching up, checking out the bars and just hanging out. He's kind of a new friend - I have only met him a handful of times since last Summer, but when we get together it always seems like we've been apart just for days. When I left Nick on the Sunday lunchtime, he accompanied me to the station, every much the thoughtful friend (and gentelman) he has always been. On my arrival at Heathrow Airport, I met up with Red, my fellow Master's student. We had a couple of drinks while I tucked into my burger and chips, fully aware that I was about to board a BA flight with nothing more than half a cheese sandwich for fortification. We had such a giggle. She's bleedin' hilarious, that girl!

After saying goodbye to Red and checking in, I headed Air-side where the shopping spree began. Heathrow Airport is a wonderful airport. Following the expansion of Terminal 1, it has just the right mix of shops now. As I wondered around the stores, the money gradually left my wallet and a balance built up on my credit card. Amidst the retail therapy, I thought of Bree, who I had missed like hell; I took this to be a very healthy and positive sign after more than four years together. When I returned to Helsinki late on Vappu Eve (April 30th), he greeted me at the airport, a cute, flirty grin filling his soft, gentle face. It's always nice to visit London, but it's even better to go home.