FLASHBACK #17: My First Whiffy MidSummer

As the weeks in June 2002 passed, friends and colleagues got more stressed. You see, MidSummer was coming, apparently a cause for celebration. Not having celebrated MidSummer before, I couldn't see what the fuss was about. To be honest, even now nearly four years later, I still don't; being so far North, June is still quite a cool month in Finland so it's hard to get passionate about Summer when it seemingly hasn't even arrived!

Anyway, we had been invited to join friends in Sidby on the West Coast of Finland, north of the city of Pori. On Friday, 21st June, we packed up our things and completed the three hour drive, arriving late in the afternoon. The weather was bright and cheerful and, later, two more arrived making out party of six complete. We spent the afternoon chatting and, together, prepared the evening's meal.

The more alcohol we consumed, the sillier things got. I was introduced to a traditional Finnish game where, pissed out of your head, you had to put you forehead on a stick about a metre high and move yourself around it more times than your oponent before losing your balance. Everytime, I ended up on the floor, dizzy from the rotations! Midnight came and went and the sky retained a touch of light, never getting completely dark. We all headed to bed, knocking the nights festivities on the head. The shock would come the next morning.


Naturally, the need to do a 'number two' comes to us all eventually. I hadn't noticed a toilet in the house so, asking where it was, I was told it was in the outbuilding. Fair enough, this was the countryside and, in Finland, the toilets happen to be outside the main building in the countryside. I thought nothing of it. Well, lo and behold, nothing (and I really mean nothing) could have prepared me for the coming minutes.

I strode the 20-or-so metres across the garden to the large outbuilding. When I opened the wooden door, I noticed a pile of general interest magazines (no, I am not referring to porn) on the left and a stack of chopped wood on the right. Straight ahead of me was another wooden door. As I opened the door, the stench of rotten excrement filled my nostrils. Slamming the inner door and the outer door behind me, I quickly made my way back to the main building.

I asked Bree if I have a quiet word and we went outside onto the porch. I told him what had happened and he let out a loud laugh, explaining that that is how it is done in the countryside because there is no running water. 'We should let the United Nations know about this,' I said 'it's unsanitary!' Reluctantly, I made my way back to the so-called toilet.

How does it work? Well, as you try to ignore the stench as much as you can, you do your thing, wipe your bottom and then cover your stuff with sawdust from the nearby pile of wood shavings. And by the way, there's no water to wash yours hands. Ewww!

It was certainly the highlight of my first MidSummer. The remainder of the weekend was spent sunbathing (the weather was exceptional, just so you know!), swimming in the nearby sea and walking in the nearby forests. When we left Sidby on the Sunday afternoon, we travelled back to Helsinki via Pori right in the middle of a spectacular thunderstorm.

FLASHBACK #16: Parents Visit Finland

Sometime in June 2002, my parents visited Finland. I collected them from Helsinki late in the afternoon and we checked into the Scandic Hotel Marski in the centre of Helsinki. It was a very difficult time for me personally. I wasn't yet ready to introduce Bree to my parents, even as a friend, fearing that my parents would suspect and realise that we were gay and together. Bree and I agreed that this visit would be for my parents and I to bond.

As luck would have it, the hotel room we shared (I reserved a family room) overlooked Lönröötinkatu and, on the other side of the street, was the bar where I had met Bree just six weeks earlier! Drawing the curtains, I told my parents that I had organised an evening meal at Lappi, a famous Finnish restaurant. To cut a long story short, none of were fans of reindeer nor herring no matter how it prepared! After a couple of post dinner drinks, we returned to the hotel.

The next morning, after a lovely breakfast at the hotel, I suggested that we go on a boat trip along the coast, taking in the new developed area of Herttoniemi. It was a perfect day to go to the sea, sunny AND warm. Let's face it, this was Finland and it was the earlier part of the Summer as far the nordic countries were concerned.

We ambled along Esplandi and reserved places on the boat. In the meantime, we looked around the stools on the market square. My parents were impressed by the quality of the good and crafts on sale and were equally impressed by the colourful and healthy looking selection of fresh produce.

We boarded the boat and spent the next three hours at sea, first heading towards the east of Helsinki, taking in Ruoholahti then heading back to the west, taking in Suomenlinna and, beyond that, to Hertoniemi. It was a wonderful day, very relaxing as we drank cool drinks on the upper deck, soaking up the sunshine. My mother did her usual maritimnal wave aimed at getting the attention of those at sea!

After we returned to the City, we checked out of the hotel, retrieved the car from the hotel's underground parking and headed towards Tampere. The drive took nearly two years and once we got there, it must have been about 6pm. They were pleased with my home. I introduced them to my neighbour, who they liked immediately. I think it was reassuring for them to meet a friend of mine and it was a big plus when they genuinely liked her too!

Tired from the days activities, I suggested we enjoy a nice takeaway on the balcony. I drove into town, returning with the not-so-spicy Finnish version of chinese and we toasted with our mutual favourite drink of Bacardi and Coke. Yummy!

The next day, I took my parents to Näsinneula, the highest observation deck in the nordic countries at 124 metres, to enjoy the views of Tampere. Afterwards, we visited my favourite place in Tampere, Pyynikki. In the winter, the lake near Pyynikki had been frozen, but now the beach could be seen. We posed for pictures, before heading to my apartment to rest before going out for dinner. back into the centre to go for dinner. It was then that the heavens opened and rain would fall non stop for the remainder of my parent's visit.

We went for dinner to Armadillo, a tex-mex restaurant near Koskikeskus, one of the town's main shopping centres. It was lovely. We spent quite a while there and were tired out from the days activities so we headed back to the apartment and had a nice drink there. The rain continued to fall all night long, keeping my parents awake most of the time as the rain beat down on the metal roof of the balcony. Oh, dear!

After breakfast the next morning, it was time for my parents to get the flight from Tampere. They would fly to Helsinki and catch their flight to London from there. They grinned when they saw how small Tampere Airport was, the smallest they had ever seen! When their flight was called, we hugged goodbye and parted. I waited while they boarded the nearby commuter craft and, as their aircraft pulled away, I made my way to the exit of the airport to watch their plane take off. It was then that the rain finally stopped which I thought was just downright typical, eh?

My parents had finally left and I was straight on the phone to Bree, who I hadn't spoken for nearly four days. God, how I had missed him!