FLASHBACK #17: My First Whiffy MidSummer

As the weeks in June 2002 passed, friends and colleagues got more stressed. You see, MidSummer was coming, apparently a cause for celebration. Not having celebrated MidSummer before, I couldn't see what the fuss was about. To be honest, even now nearly four years later, I still don't; being so far North, June is still quite a cool month in Finland so it's hard to get passionate about Summer when it seemingly hasn't even arrived!

Anyway, we had been invited to join friends in Sidby on the West Coast of Finland, north of the city of Pori. On Friday, 21st June, we packed up our things and completed the three hour drive, arriving late in the afternoon. The weather was bright and cheerful and, later, two more arrived making out party of six complete. We spent the afternoon chatting and, together, prepared the evening's meal.

The more alcohol we consumed, the sillier things got. I was introduced to a traditional Finnish game where, pissed out of your head, you had to put you forehead on a stick about a metre high and move yourself around it more times than your oponent before losing your balance. Everytime, I ended up on the floor, dizzy from the rotations! Midnight came and went and the sky retained a touch of light, never getting completely dark. We all headed to bed, knocking the nights festivities on the head. The shock would come the next morning.


Naturally, the need to do a 'number two' comes to us all eventually. I hadn't noticed a toilet in the house so, asking where it was, I was told it was in the outbuilding. Fair enough, this was the countryside and, in Finland, the toilets happen to be outside the main building in the countryside. I thought nothing of it. Well, lo and behold, nothing (and I really mean nothing) could have prepared me for the coming minutes.

I strode the 20-or-so metres across the garden to the large outbuilding. When I opened the wooden door, I noticed a pile of general interest magazines (no, I am not referring to porn) on the left and a stack of chopped wood on the right. Straight ahead of me was another wooden door. As I opened the door, the stench of rotten excrement filled my nostrils. Slamming the inner door and the outer door behind me, I quickly made my way back to the main building.

I asked Bree if I have a quiet word and we went outside onto the porch. I told him what had happened and he let out a loud laugh, explaining that that is how it is done in the countryside because there is no running water. 'We should let the United Nations know about this,' I said 'it's unsanitary!' Reluctantly, I made my way back to the so-called toilet.

How does it work? Well, as you try to ignore the stench as much as you can, you do your thing, wipe your bottom and then cover your stuff with sawdust from the nearby pile of wood shavings. And by the way, there's no water to wash yours hands. Ewww!

It was certainly the highlight of my first MidSummer. The remainder of the weekend was spent sunbathing (the weather was exceptional, just so you know!), swimming in the nearby sea and walking in the nearby forests. When we left Sidby on the Sunday afternoon, we travelled back to Helsinki via Pori right in the middle of a spectacular thunderstorm.