FLASHBACK #31: Revelation To The Religious

'Thing' in the office still continued to annoy, but what could you do? Like family, you can't choose your colleagues. The boss chooses them for you, just like the boss in the sky (e.g. God) selects our parents. Sometimes I wondered what I had done to deserve the constantly annoying presence of Thing.

The other girl in the office (the religious one with whom Thing enjoyed some kind of alliance) and I continued to get closer, making every attempt to try and grab lunch together without Thing in tow. It was even difficult to have a coffee break without Thing constantly interrupting. I resented Thing for this as, at times, it felt like she had 'stolen' the religious girl from me. I know that sounds childish, but I had just really enjoyed - and now missed - the religious girl's company.

As I was saying, we got closer. Too close. There were hugs, there was tickling and there was overall playfulness which I had never engaged in with a colleague before. She made my days in Tampere fun until, one day, she suggested we meet up outside work. That was it: she had to know. I could see where this was going and my homosexuality would clearly conflict with her religious ideals.

The weeks passed and I waited for the right moment. Having finally ran out of excuses for not meeting up outside work, I dragged her into a meeting room, closed the door and built up to telling her in such a way so that she wouldn't react. Deep down, I didn't care if she told everyone in the building. I cared more about her feelings, about how she would react, about whether or not the news I was about to dish out would hurt her.

She took the news much better than I thought she would. I told her I was in a relationship, but like all religious people, she said I had I 'lost my way' and that I needed 'spiritual guidance'. While I thought SHE would get angry with ME, I could feel MY anger building up inside. I had shared something very personal with her and she instantly turned me into a 'project', something she could nurture.

In the end, we just agreed to disagree. We continued to enjoy eachother's company. I like to think that we learnt something from eachother, gave eachother a different perspective. How two people who were so different could remain such good friends is testament to what can be acheived in an environment of tolerance. Of course, deep down, I know she disapproved of me. Likewise, I felt that this pretty 21-year old girl was dedicating her life to a cause that existed only in Bible and had no correlation to modern life.

But now she knew. A devout Christian, she was now friends with a 'sinner'. She was my Jesus, and I was her Mary Magdelane. Why am I always the girl?!

FLASHBACK #30: Winter Ice Skating

I returned to Finland with a tan, after my one week holiday with the family in Tenerife and I met up with the Neighbour on our usual evening walk with the dog. She had an idea: Ice Skating. I hadn't been Ice Skating for years, there was a pitch nearby and my neighbour's boyfriend was an Ice Hockey Coach who could provide me with a spare pair of skates so I thought why not! It would be fun!

My Neighbour guided me onto the pitch and not once did I fall on my arse! I have always had quite good balance, but Swimming is perhaps the only sport where I have perfected my technique. Winter sports-wise, there was alot to learn.

One thing that amazed me about life in this community was that, at 9pm in the darkness of Winter, kids could safely play outside without the constant vigilance of their parents; as a Londoner, I am overly-protective of children, having heard horrifying stories over the years. However, I was slowly adapting to this wonderful environment where one didn't have to look over their shoulder all the time.

By the end of the skating session, we joked at how I would become the next Ice Hockey Champion to join one of the squads in Tampere. Hardly!

FLASHBACK #29: Away from the cold, into the warm!

Just days after seeing in 2003, I was away once more, this time bound for the Canary Island of Tenerife. It had been a pretty cold January so far and it was a shame that Bree wouldn't be joining me, albeit for obvious reasons. My parents still didn't know about my sexuality and they certainly didn't know about Bree.

The six hour-flight had cost me more than £400 from Helsinki, but I would be crashing in the spare room of the apartment my parents had rented at Park Santiago II in Playa De Las Americas so it was a price I was willing to pay for one week away from the -20's. After a six hour flight, I landed at Reina Sofia Airport, feeling very much at home; my family and I lived in Tenerife for six months in 1992 while my Dad managed a bar and restaurant there.

Whenever I visit the Canaries, it doesn't feel like a holiday to me, but more like a home from home. After all, it's like a warm England, complete with encounters with all things English every minute of everyday. If you don't encounter them head on, you see them moving in droves, clad in battered trainers and England football shirts. And if you don't meet them or see them, sooner or later you will bloody hear them. Normally, they are the ones who are screaming and shouting, arguing on balconies at 3am in the morning, recreating what resembles a rather dramatic scene from EastEnders!

On this visit, however, we were staying in a respectable part of Playa De Las Americas. The days were spent lounging around, taking in the sun and splashing about in the pool. The evenings were spent visiting our favourite restaurants before winding up at a karoake bar or cabaret venue. One evening, we ended up in a packed out bar that had a rather bizarre cabaret featuring two over-sexed nuns! It was dreadfully common, but ultimately hilarious!

One afternoon, in nearby Los Christianos, one of my sisters and I went on a stationary hot air balloon which gave you some great views of the resort. For fifteen minutes, we admired the view, pleased to be away from the 'olds' for a bit. On this particular trip, we also visited nearby Los Christianos for the first time ever, with it's popular harbour and beach. My brother-in-law and I swam in the warm sea, the rugged cliffs of Los Christianos towering over us.

On several evenings during the wonderful week, my mother and I were often the last ones awake. Having inherited my parents appreciation for Bacardi, out would come the Bacardi bottle, some Diet Coke and crisps. We would sit out on the warm balcony, closing the patio door so that we could talk for hours. There were times where I wanted to tell my Mother about Bree, to scream from the rooftops about how happy - and lucky - I was to be with him. But now wasn't the right moment. We chatted and giggled, recalling our late-night chats whilst in Florida in the year 2000.

It's during these kind of chats with my Mum that I realise how alike we are, how I have inherited not just her appreciation of Bacardi, but also her sensitivity and kind nature. There are times, of course, when my father's temper becomes evident in me so I do know that my parents are definitely mine! It bought a tear to my eye when my Mum would recall events from my childhood. She had a very hard time persuading a Headteacher to accept me into a mainstream school, fighting of the Social Services on several occasions for refusing to send her son to a deaf school. She told me that she would often collect me from nursery school and I would be there, the little deaf boy, playing on his own in the corner of the room.

On the night when I was returning to Finland, my parents and I went to a Chinese Restaurant. Whilst there, my Dad plied me with drinks and I got a little bit drunk, giggling all the way to the airport! Needless to say, the alcohol helped me to slept soundly during the midnight flight!