FLASHBACK #31: Revelation To The Religious

'Thing' in the office still continued to annoy, but what could you do? Like family, you can't choose your colleagues. The boss chooses them for you, just like the boss in the sky (e.g. God) selects our parents. Sometimes I wondered what I had done to deserve the constantly annoying presence of Thing.

The other girl in the office (the religious one with whom Thing enjoyed some kind of alliance) and I continued to get closer, making every attempt to try and grab lunch together without Thing in tow. It was even difficult to have a coffee break without Thing constantly interrupting. I resented Thing for this as, at times, it felt like she had 'stolen' the religious girl from me. I know that sounds childish, but I had just really enjoyed - and now missed - the religious girl's company.

As I was saying, we got closer. Too close. There were hugs, there was tickling and there was overall playfulness which I had never engaged in with a colleague before. She made my days in Tampere fun until, one day, she suggested we meet up outside work. That was it: she had to know. I could see where this was going and my homosexuality would clearly conflict with her religious ideals.

The weeks passed and I waited for the right moment. Having finally ran out of excuses for not meeting up outside work, I dragged her into a meeting room, closed the door and built up to telling her in such a way so that she wouldn't react. Deep down, I didn't care if she told everyone in the building. I cared more about her feelings, about how she would react, about whether or not the news I was about to dish out would hurt her.

She took the news much better than I thought she would. I told her I was in a relationship, but like all religious people, she said I had I 'lost my way' and that I needed 'spiritual guidance'. While I thought SHE would get angry with ME, I could feel MY anger building up inside. I had shared something very personal with her and she instantly turned me into a 'project', something she could nurture.

In the end, we just agreed to disagree. We continued to enjoy eachother's company. I like to think that we learnt something from eachother, gave eachother a different perspective. How two people who were so different could remain such good friends is testament to what can be acheived in an environment of tolerance. Of course, deep down, I know she disapproved of me. Likewise, I felt that this pretty 21-year old girl was dedicating her life to a cause that existed only in Bible and had no correlation to modern life.

But now she knew. A devout Christian, she was now friends with a 'sinner'. She was my Jesus, and I was her Mary Magdelane. Why am I always the girl?!