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NORMAL LIFE: Oz Countdown - Departure Day

And so the day has finally arrived. No more countdowns, no more speculation. When I get on the 6pm flight from Helsinki tonight, by next Tuesday morning, I will have arrived in Sydney, marking the start of my One Amazing Year Down Under.

Saying goodbye to friends, aquaintances and colleagues has been difficult. Should this really turn out to be a one year thing, it is reassuring to know that I have a 'family' I can return to.

Of all the meetings, I was suprised during a last coffee-break with my Swedish-Finnish friend. Together with his boyfriend, they had created a CD of all the 'worst' covers done by Finnish artists of international hits such as Madonna's Like A Virgin and Lionel Richie's Hello. I am sure it will sound awful, but how original, eh? Thanks, guys!

Meanwhile, Miss Knight's relationship with her new man has moved up a notch and it fills my heart with pride to know that her relationship and the Swedish-Finn's relationship is going well. Meanwhile, Bree and I will have a bit of distance between us and his 'pragmatic' approach to realising my dream has made me realise - and not for the first time - how lucky I am to have him.

But I have written enough - this blog will now be temporarily inactive, but to keep up to date, hit the One Amazing Year Down Under blog from time to time. xxx

NORMAL LIFE: The Last Days

Today is my last day in the office. It's not even a full day - I am just hanging on for the subsidised lunch. Yep, I am leaving, and I don't even get a free lunch! Hmph! Anyway, in the build up to my leaving for Australia on Sunday, I have been feeling a bit headachey, bordering on flu. True, the air has got very cool this week so hearing it is 23C in Sydney has been pleasing to hear.

On Wednesday morning, once colleage came up to me and, as if afraid to ask, she asked if I was feeling sad. "No," I said, "why? What's happened?" wondering if something bad had happened to one of our colleagues. She chided me for being so unfeeling?! Me?! A Finn was accusing me of being unfeeling?! Classic! I explained that this is something I have wanted to do twelve years, five years before I even knew where Finland was located on Earth.

Then yesterday, in the morning, I suggest to the four engineers that we go out for a cheap lunch. One wasn't hungry, but I saw him go to lunch ten minute later. One had a dentist appointment in the afternoon and, understandably, had to cram his work into a shorter than usual day. Another said it was raining, and I explained that I planned to actually eat indoors. The other was just busy. I am like hello! What a miserable bunch of fuckers!, I thought to myself.

Not one to be deterred by the choices of others, I went to the Chinese restuarant in Pasila alone. As I ate, I watched the rain fall - it had rained for three days solid. I imagined sitting in a restaurant in Sydney - in my mind's eye, the sky magically turned blue and when I looked down at my plate, I wasn't looking at stodgy rice and what I can Finnish-Chinese food, I was looking down at grilled prawns and what might have been a Kangaroo burger, or whatever it is they eat down there! I grinned, again thinking: What a miserable bunch of fuckers! Hilarious!

At dead on 13:30, the colleagues had assembled in the announced area where the company would provide coffee and cake to the invited colleagues. Around thirty people turned up, and nervousness enveloped me very much like drapes covering ever bare inch of a window when drawn. While I realise that I am quite brash and outgoing, I am also sensitive and reserved at the strangest of times - this was not to be one of them, for I had truly put myself on the spot.

First, my supervisor gave a speech, particularly emphasising my live spirit and my social contribution to the team. At the very mention of that, I was once again reminded of the gift of hearing I had received back in 2001 and it's never-ending impact. Moved somewhat by the speech, I informed the crowd that I actually had a speech prepared, but let's take some coffee and cake and you can listen while I am speaking.

Everyone armed with coffee and cake, I proceed to belt out a poem I had written, titled The Days In Finland, which you can read here. The poem was very well received with many people mentioned afterwards that they didn't realise that I was so creative and talented. Not only has my photography improved significantly, I was being credited for my poetry, evidence that perhaps my next job needs to tap into the creative part of me.

I left the office shortly after, collecting my dirty laundry from the locker room and the last bits and pieces from my office cubile. With my office and locker, now looking rather bare, it still hasn't registered what I am about to do. It just hasn't hit me yet that, within days, I am going to be living several thousand miles away. With the gift of hearing, it pleased me to here that Kylie has confirmed that she will play in Sydney in December. Will I see her for the third time in a year? Perhaps I will be too busy surfing?

NORMAL LIFE: Poem - The Days In Finland

Written by myself...

I arrived in Finland on the first day of November 2001 when it snowed
Within days, I started work, relieved to have somewhere to go
Winter in Finland can be a miserable place
But I came to love it, adapting to the pace

I lived in Tampere, one of the smallest places on Earth
Wondering 'What have I done?', feeling like a bloody stupid jerk
But I persevered, growing stronger each day
Meeting my first Finnish love early one bright Spring day

The season began, and people ‘magically’ appeared
That first summer, I met people whom I still hold dear
I quickly discovered mämmi, koskenkorva and korvapuusti
Lacritsi jäätelö, karjalanpiirakka, punajuuri salaatti

Finland itself is not flat like Denmark
It's landscape, so beautiful, is worthy of remark;
The forest, so green, the lakes ashimmer
I still remember the reflection on the water, making my face glimmer

For, at one with nature, one felt so calm
Without realizing, ‘Finnishness’ had entered my heart

When light began to recede at the end of that first summer
That 'What have I done?' feeling returned, blowing me asunder
It didn't affect me so much as the others
Who downed red wine as though it were water

People survive in their own ways
Waiting for the light to return to the days
But Christmas comes first, that most famous of Finns;
Father Christmas bringing joy to all of our kin

Spring came back, an annual cycle complete
Seven years on, I'm still amazed at how the seasons meet

The language itself is logical enough
My favourite word being äyriäsiä
The first word I learnt was, in fact, yrjö
Which, just like a hangover, makes your mouth go uurgh.

I remember the lessons, my teacher telling me to never ask why?
But is it 'Hän ampua polisin' or 'Hän ampua polisia' when the officer had to die?
Muutta jos sinulla on tuo, se ja nuo
Sinun pitaisi sano tuolla, siellä ja nuolla, no?

Don't start me off on the six verb types, fourteen tenses and whatnot
But be assured that my Finnish will not be easily forgot
I've spoken enough and soon I'll be goneBut this is that thing called life, it's elämä on!

NORMAL LIFE: Oz Countdown - 1 week to go!

I thought that, by now, I would start feeling a little bit nervous at least, but the lack of anxiety might indicate that I have convinced myself I am doing the right thing.

Lately, I have been selling stuff that I don't need. The online sales forum at work has proved most useful - in one week, I sold two cameras, my bright winter lamp, some DVDs and books, pocketing more than €400. Extra dosh for Down Under!

One night, I was relaxing on the sofa and I suddenly had a brainwave. I was thinking about the last seven years in Finland, my arrival, the people I had met, the extreme summers and the winters. Somehow, I managed to combined all of the key things into forty-two lines of poetry.

After my bike accident from last week (which I still have a huge bruise on my left hip to remind me of), I still consider myself lucky enough to be getting on that flight next Sunday night. Read about the accident here - it really could have been so much worse!

Recently, I had put an advert on the internet, offering photographic services; it would be so cool to indulge my one true hobby by finding some good models to shoot and the first (of many, I have to admit) message was from a guy whose birthday is on the day I arrive! How weird is that? He was gay, and we joked that I will be in good spirits on that Tuesday so how about I come to your office and kiss you in full view of all of your colleagues, just to let them know that I have arrived?! We had a right giggle and he is considering the idea!

Work has been rather comical. While notice periods generally do suck, I never thought I would be ignored this much. I have lunch on my own most days, I have been banned from attending any meetings (company policy, apparently). Based on people's behaviour generally, I had no choice but to deduce that they are all jealous. I asked Bree one night why they might be jealous. After all, I have effectively made myself unemployed. He explained that people don't envy the fact that I am moving to Australia, they envy the fact that I was brave enought to take such a bold move! For someone who has spent his childhood profoundly deaf, his teenage years covered in Acne and seven years in Finland, moving to another English-speaking country to find work will be a doddle!

And it was amusing when, dining with an Engineer one lunch time, I was asked where I will be working in Australia. With no job offers as yet, I shrugged my shoulders, revealing that I hadn't got a job yet. The Engineer, in his fifties, gave me a funny look, his eyes shifting quickly from left to right, telling me I was stupid for taking such a risk without actually saying it. Get a grip people: I am only 31! Bree explained that what I have done is something a Finn just would not do!

And since my resignation at the beginning of this month, Human Resources has been a constant pain in the backside. I haven't heard from them since I joined the company more than two years ago and now they want me to fill in countless forms which, as far as I can see, are the same. When I received the fourth form, I returned the form to them unfilled, claiming that this was tantamount to harrassment. I am pleased to say that I haven't heard from them since!

Then, last Friday, my long-time acting supervisor (an Engineer, not a marketer) called me to remind me that he has still to write the reference letter for my time at the firm. He was unsure what to write, however, given that he was not involved in any marketing whatsoever. I suggested that my new boss - located in the US - wrote it. He suggested we avoid overloading him and I was thinking that, as a manager, he is paid to do this. I was backed into a corner and, here I am, drafting the reference letter for my own time in the firm. Leaving was so the right decision because this is just bordering on ridiculous now. I mean, you couldn't make all this up!

Looking ahead, I am pleased to report that the agencies in Sydney have started calling me! With just one week to go, it's much more realistic to start discussions now, given that my arrival is imminent. I have an tele-interview on Monday which, the Agency tells me, only two candidates (myself included) are being considered for! Fantastic, or what?! Other than that, I have arranged three Agency meetings on the Thursday and plan to do a CV-drop in Sydney's CBD (City Business District) on the Friday!

Other news: I found out last week that my parents have finally split up, after thirty-seven years of marriage. My mother has been a bit tearful, my father has been a right bastard, but men are, aren't they? Most of the time, women are the innocent party and my mother has been an angel. What crappy timing, though, but my mother said that it's so important that I do this otherwise I will regret it. We even joked about smuggling her in as an illegal immigrant, should I end up staying on in Oz.

The Olympics in Beijing came to a fitting end this afternoon, with Team GB coming in as the fourth most successful country in terms of medal haul, our greatest haul in more than a Century (19 Golds, 13 silver and 15 bronze). What is funny, however, is how the British media seems to have abandoned the issue of human rights abuses in favour of this athelete winning this gold or that athlete winning that silver. I mean, are human rights an issue or not? I am confused! The BBC's Correspondent in Sydney has been stirring up matters too, claiming that the Australian's are so pissed off with Team GBs success that the Republican movement has renewed it's campaign to remove the Queen as head of state.

I asked my friend Bruce if there was any truth in this. He claimed that he didn't know anyone who felt this way, but reverted back to the good old per capita / population argument which, ironically, the BBC's correspondent had written that Aussie's are spouting out in defence. "We have a population a third of the size of the UK!", Bruce declared. I am sorry, but the Australians are so much better prepared than the Brits are for such an event in a country as humid as China! Personally, I couldn't give a shit, but is does bode well for Britain as host of the Olympics on 2012.

And so I have been saying goodbye to people recently: Red at the Millenium Dome after the Kylie concert; Nick in Soho Square when Bree and I were in London; Fred over the telephone because the infrastructure between Liverpool and Betys-y-Coed was ridiculous; Sweetpea over Sunday lunch in Caernarvon; Blue in Belge amid a deluge of tears; Mama Savolainen at our place in Helsinki, just after she had spilt ice-cream all over herself in the park; Miss Knight on the dancefloor in Hercules, after stealing the Tom of Finland poster; the Swedish Finn after a hilarious night learning how to disco in Finnish sixties-style: LS in Fazer, after refusing to taste to lakritsi! I love you all, guys (and girls), come over when you're good and ready!

On a sad note, Bree buried his Aunt yesterday. Well into her eighties, she had suffered for many years with Alzheimers. But this isn't just any old woman - there's a wonderful story to tell here. As a general rule, anyone older than fifty in Finland may not speak any English at all other than the basic 'hello', 'goodbye', 'yes' and 'no'. Rather skillfully, however, they understand most of what we say. In the case of this woman, Bree paid a visit to her about three years ago on her birthday. Accompanying him to the old folks home, I was astonished when this frail woman sat on the edge of her bed and started speaking to me in English. Meanwhile, she had no idea who the other man - Bree, her own nephew - in the room was.

Even thought I wasn't at the funeral yesterday (because of intolerance towards Bree's sexuality), I'll never forget that woman. When I left the old folks home that day, I shed a tear and it's a shame that I never got to go to the funeral for it would have been a great way to tell people how she had touched this particular stranger.

But life goes on. And I will be heading to Australia next Sunday, arriving in the early hours of Tuesday morning. My head is just swimming with things that have already happened, what is happening right now and what I hope to happen over the next year. For the purpose of the latter, I have set up a new blog, the One Amazing Year Down Under, which will act as a diary for the year ahead.

Keep reading, peoples - there's loads coming up! I can feel it in my waters, Kimmy!

NORMAL LIFE: What Two Years In the US Did To David

NORMAL LIFE: That Was June

One can cram too much in. I know that for sure, and last June was a perfect example. The month started of with Bruce's trip to Scandinavia. You can read about our time in Helsinki and our visits to Riga, Stockholm and Copenhagen here.

A week back in Finland, then Bree and I went to Sitges (near Barcelona) for some guaranteed weather during what should have been a traditional Finnish Midsummer. We were right to go because the weather in Finland did indeed turn out to be rather nasty. Read about our Catalonian Midsummer here.

And then there was the photographic weekend in Oulu which, for the first time, opened my eyes to the world of model photography. I had great fun and met some great people. Read about the trip in the north of Finland here.

And don't forget the visit to Lisbon with Alan in February here. What a year so far!

NORMAL LIFE: Wanna Hear YouTube Videos?

This is perhaps one of the best online utilities I have ever come across and, since I am willing to forego crystal quality audio, might mean I never have to buy another CD - or download anothing track from iTunes - even again.

Next time you hear something you like on YouTube, don't go out and buy it, just visit VidToMp3, an online utility which, when you have provided the URL link to the YouTube video, will create an MP3 of the video's audio! Sweet, or what?!

NORMAL LIFE: Facebook Ridiculousness!

I am going to come across really uptight now! Somebody is gonna tell me to take a chill pill, but come on! I have been BOUGHT and SOLD. Recently I was 'POKED' and, today, I was BOUGHT AS A PET.

Apparently, I was bought for €611, but I never knew I was for sale and I certainly didn't know I had suddenly turned into a guinea pig or a rabbit or whatever is the creature of choice these days. And, even more curiously, I earned €27 in profit, not a cent of which is in my bank account. I am thinking: what the fuck is this, people?!

Soon, I will have been RAPED or BITCH-SLAPPED without even realising it, but don't worry, I will get notified! How kind of Facebook to let me know this much at least, huh?

NORMAL LIFE: Dancing With Miss Knight!

Last night was such fun! It started innocently enough, with Miss Knight and I downing pizza with Pimms. Later, the Swedish-speaking friend and his partner, M, joined us. Having moved from my seated position, Miss Knight noticed - and seemed to become obsessed - with a glass-shaped cock, which Bree had bought sometime ago.

While the three guests discussed the unique glass, I filled the glasses with wine and we proceeded to talk about funny experiences at work in our industries. In the meantime, Miss Knight received a text message - a guy she was dating seemed a bit clueless, regarding Miss Knight as a bit of a 'mystery'. Since when does playing hard to get make you mysterious, huh?

M toyed with my new camera, which was better than my flower, that's for sure, after the recollection of a guy who believed I was the latest exhibit at the Chelsea Flower Show! We watched a bit of the Madonna Confessions Tour on TV, each taking it in turns to perfect Maddie's ignorant hand waving! It was all good fun. This was followed by learning how to disco dance, Finnish sixties style!

Whilst online, we also watched a performance by Armi and Danny, two Finnish popstars in the seventies, singing I Want To Love You Tender - what stunning choreography!!

Returning to the living room, we downed Salmiakki Koskenkorva while watching Kylie perform Light Years/Turn It Into Love on DVD! Fantastic stuff, but by then I had reached the point of no return - I needed to go out dancing!

- see alternative version of Light Years here with Donna Summer's I Feel Love.

Within fifteen minutes, a taxi had transported Miss Knight and I to Hercules in Lönrotinkatu, with Shady Lady kicking off the evening's dancing. Straight after, this was followed by Donna Summer's This Time I Know It's For Real.

The music got camper by the minute and we were soon dancing to a medley of Madonna songs, no doubt due to her recent 50th Birthday: Hung Up and her hit, Give It To Me, played. We took a break, grabbing some Long Island Ice Teas.

Bree arrived after 1am, fresh - and sober - from his five year old god-daughter's all-day-long birthday party. This Is My Life by Euroband played, bringing a tear to my eye - Bree wouldn't dance and we would have precious few opportunities left to dance before I left for Australia at the end of the month.

Miss Knight handed me a drink, a concoction of Salmiakki Koskenkorva and Baileys, a very tasty combination. Named mummo tossu, which translates to Grandmother's Slipper, the drink is incredibly soothing. Oh, my god, I was having a täti moment in a nightclub!

The last song of the night was Vogue sung by none other than Madonna. Miss Knight showed no sign of flagging all night and had been the world's best dance partner. Oh, we had such fun...!

AFTERTHOUGHT: I was reminded, a few days later, about the Tom of Finland poster we had stolen from the nightclub! Miss Knight, you are a kinky one, but I love you!