NORMAL LIFE: Not A Normal Weekend

And so I am back in the office once again. It's Monday morning, 10C outside, it's wet and windy and the seasonal darkness is magnified by the bright winter light giving me my morning dose of light therapy to combat Seasonal Adjustment Disorder. What a wonderful device.

The weekends are much shorter than the weeks, but when you have a busy weekend, Friday night through to Monday morning seems to blur into one day. So, what actually happened? Well, I'll tell you what happened.

It was started the middle of last week, when three female colleagues from the US arrived in Helsinki. They were Helsinki 'virgins', immediately soaking up the atmosphere of their host country as well as absorbing the company of their colleagues with whom they had worked remotely with for so long.

Friday came and the three ladies looked to me for company that approaching evening. Normally, I am very possessive of my own time, but this was an opportunity to spend some time with native English speakers, to communicate and laugh and joke at leisure without having to explain the occasional misunderstanding.

I organised it so that we had pre-dinner drinks at Torni, a four course chinese meal at the Empire Plaza in Kamppi, followed by after-dinner cocktails at Shaker. The first venue went rather well, for the booze had not yet worked its tongue-unravelling 'magic'.

By the time we were seated at the Chinese restaurant, we were relaxed. We ordered starters and main courses and I ordered a bottle of South African red as well as a bottle of Australia white.

Before the starter had even arrived, discussions topics covered already had been 'worst date' and 'most awkward sexual moment'. Not totally 'out' to my colleagues, I felt somewhat awkward, but after a couple of bottles of wine, I thought 'what the hell!'.

I proceeded to tell them that my 'worst-date-most-awkward-sexual-moment' was when I met a Finnish police officer who managed to convince me to take him back to my hotel room. In my room, he asked if he could suck my toes to which I reluctantly agreed. And it was marvellous. The ladies howled with laughter and it was then, quite earlier in the evening, that I learned how 'easy' it is to be around Americans.

After the dinner, we made our way to the cocktail bar. There, I happened to stumble on a woman who was drying herself 'down there' because she had forgotten to lock the door of what turned out to be a unisex toilet. Somewhat amused, although the young girl had seemed to drunk to even notice I was there, I patiently awaited my turn for the toilet.

When I returned, there was a cocktail awaiting me and the subject of conversation now turned out to be 'current boyfriends'. I wowed the ladies with my account that Bree was 6'4", 220 lbs and made perfect blueberry pies. After this, they wanted to know more, but I needed to be careful.

The one with the big boobs laughed joyfully while the young divorcee continued to flirt with me in her hoochie-mamma attitude. Meanwhile, my main contact of the trio smiled at me, nodding rapidly when I asked if I had come across as too obvious. To hell with it, I thought. I decided that now, just after midnight, might be an appropriate time to leave. And I did so under the guise that I had received an invitation to what was sure to be a wild housewarming party the following evening.

They were understanding, but the moment I left the bar, I felt somewhat relieved and somewhat 'not quite done'. I called a friend of mine who was heading to our local later in the evening so I went there and awaited him. I was glad he finally turned because it was a themed night of some kind of pathetic extreme: 60s, 7os and 80s Eurovision music, with lots of Finnish songs; the dancefloor is normally bombarded with songs in English, but tonight was for the natives and, by god, the young and the old lapped it up.

When I left at 3am, I felt sober, which kind of pleased me for I had plans already for the night ahead. As I made my way home, I witnessed the usual: a couple shouting heated exchanges at each other, someone vomiting in the corner, a girl who seemed to have a problem knowing whether to bear left or right (or in a straight line, for all I knew). I think the most depressing view of the night was when I saw a guy sleeping in a doorway, his face nestling upon what looked like a pool of sick. Urgh!

When I woke up the next morning, I told Bree about what had happened: the inappropriate topics of discussion with the ladies, my apparent flambuoyancy, the shockingly dismal music at our local and the usual piss and vomit on the way home. There was certainly nothing dull about what had happened the previous evening.

And so the day went pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we were on my way to Zach's place, laden with gifts and two bottles of wine. We arrived at Zach's - and his girlfriend's - new home just outside the city limits, and I was impressed. The apartment is less than five years old with all the mod-cons: balcony, sauna, nicely laid-out floorplan. We arrived at 7pm and, without realising, it was already after midnight!

We decided to go into town for a drink, taking a taxi to our local. Zach and his girlfriend are fairly liberal, although his girl had never been to a gay place before. It turned out to be quite fun. Instead of drinking, his girlfriend and I spent most of our time on the dancefloor. Bree and Zach joined us occasionally, and I remember feeling a bit 'towered over' by Zach who stands at nearly two metres tall.

It was gone 3am when we came to our senses, and decided to call it a night. As we walked home, we tried in ernest to hail a taxi for Zach. When we finally got one, we waved them off and, in silence, we walked home, wanting nothing but to sleep. As I dozed, I thought about much harder it was to party these days now that I was in the infancy of my thirties!

Sunday wasn't eventful - I studied Finnish and caught up with my photography theory while Bree did some much-needed work for the working week ahead. Already, my thoughts were focusing on the week ahead, which would see me visit the UK to have my hearing device upgraded. I would also see my friend Nick in London who had recently returned from a holiday to Australia. I wonder if he knows of my intention to go to Australia next year???