NORMAL LIFE: Queen Camilla

What am imagination that Sue Townsend has. Years after unleashing Adrian Mole on the nation, the writer still has what it takes to take readers into a different place and time. In Queen Camilla, we are transported to a time when England has become a Republic and the Royal Family have been exiled to one of the thousands of Exclusion Zones set up to control those guilty of encouraging antisocial behaviour.

As absurd as placing the Royal Family in an Exclusion Zone sounds, it doesn't end there. Surrounded by an uneducated youth without a hope in hell (Prince Harry turns out to be no exception), the stars of the book turn out to be the talking dogs of England who, faced with deportation to Canada when the government announces that dog ownership is limited to one per houshold, stage a revolt that sways an election victory in favour of Boy English, leader of the New Cons, who want to bring back the monarchy.

From quite early on in the book, it is obvious where the book is heading while the all-too-predictable ending is disappointingly crammed into just ten pages. I think the most memorable pages were when the Royals swore at one another in that unbelievably human way. As usual, the Queen is still in control whereas Camilla is portrayed as faultless.

Perhaps I have been living abroad too long, but as I was reading through this book, I was amazed at the number of words that I didn't actually know the meaning of. I made a note of them. Words such as prevaricate, suplatives, ubiquitous, repartee, micturate, placate, acerbic, misogynist, vitriol, pariah, rebuke, codicil, elucidation, probity, palliative, nihilistic, discomfit, insouciance, slake, preambulation, philately, allegory, provenance.

Here's a tip, Sue, and it's free: lighten up on the big words! Did you know that 11 years olds (including this 29 year old) in England can't read anymore?!