FLASHBACK #61: JP's Choice

I have hardly heard from my friend JP (read about him here). Since MidSummer 2004, contact had been virtually non-existent existent. I racked my brains, desperately trying to link his behaviour up with something I may have said or done. Nothing came forth.

I spoke to the Swedish Finn, one of JP's friends of many years who I had come to know quite well. He explained that JP was working very hard, carving out a career etc. That doesn't explain away 6 months of silence, does it?

Being the sensitive guy that I am, I took this very personally. The months - and the seasons - passed and we bumped into JP one day while he was walking his dog around Töölönlahti (Töölö Bay). Whilst engaging in small talk with Bree in English, he blatantly ignored me. What a twat, I thought. Two years of what I thought was friendship clearly meant nothing to him.

It was at that moment, however, that I realised that JP's choice to detatch himself was difficult to come back from - he had been spiteful, mean and ignorant, traits not conducive to a meaningful friendship.

It's ironic because on the very day I am writing this Flashback (15th December, 2006), I saw JP in the street. When I say in the street, we actually passed within a metre of eachother in opposite directions; his eye met mine, we recognised one another, but we both kept on walking. As the metres receded, I felt a bitterness stir up inside of me, but then I remembered that this was JP's choice. By now, we had both moved and no doubt changed and I had nothing left to give.

FLASHBACK #60: When Miss Knight Turned Up On A Special Day

Miss Knight worked for a friend of mine, but we got friendly. She reminds me of Kylie. Yes, the one and only Kylie Minogue; she's svelte, gracious, decent and, I suspected, liberal. So, when I organised a surprised birthday party for Bree under the guise of a Christmas party, I invited all of my friends and, unbeknownst to Bree, some of his.

The day drew nearer and the confirmations came. I organised the food, the music, the cake, the decorations, even an audio-visual compilation of funny email attachments for beaming onto the wall with a projector I had borrowed from work.

Before 9pm, my friends arrived one by one. I received a message that one of Bree's friends were at the door and I asked Bree to open it for me; he was amazed, a look across his face that clearly said what the hell are you doing here? As time passed, Bree's friends continued to arrive.

Before long, we had a full house. It wasn't late, but the doorbell rang again and I rushed to answer it. I pushed the door away from me - the apartment doors open outwards in Finland - and there stood Miss Knight. All made up, in her glad rags and obviously ready to party, her smile was a welcome feature. But something was wrong; she hadn't confirmed that she was coming to the party and, as such, I hadn't had the opportunity to come out to her, to let her know that the underlying reason for the party was to celebrate Bree's birthday.

I remember thinking I have a house full of gays in there! Meanwhile, her expectant face was asking why aren't you letting me in? I stepped outside for a moment, grateful for a break from the booming music. I explained the situation, literally having to come out in a rush before anyone realised that I had left a party I had organised in my own home! Her smiled said it all. She was like whatever!

The party went really well. Joshua and I partied away, aware that one of his closest friends would soon leave to return to her native New Zealand. It really was a special evening - the party had been at my apartment in Katajanokka and, later on, we just left everything - the mess, everything - and Bree and I went back to his place.

Bree, Joshua, the girl from New Zealand and myself walked down Aleksanterinkatu - one of Helsinki's main streets - semi-drunk, satisfied from a successful party. At least, I was satisfied. It was a huge effort to pull of a party like that single-handedly, but it goes down as one of the best parties I have hosted. And having Miss Knight there made all the difference and certainly made for the start of a friendship that I hope will last many years.