NORMAL LIFE: Last Night's Cry

I'm depressed, and I don't know why. I have a good job, a loving partner. Admittedly, my social life could be better, but with Christmas and a New Year to look forward to, why did I cry last night?

The Finnish winter has a funny way of creeping up on you; it is dark until about 9am, and the darkness returns sometime before 3.30pm. With the absence of snow, the lack of daylight before and after work makes for constant darkness.

Fortunately, it has been quite warm and, while the Finns are yearning for snow, I would rather jump straight to Spring. It's true, though, that there's nothing quite like the sun's rays bouncing off the snow on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon with a blue sky!

Socially, my 'friends' have all but deserted me; nothing happens unless I call them. Nothing happens unless I organise something. Weeks - sometimes months - can pass by and I hear nothing from the people I think - or thought - were friends.

Friends don't come easy no matter where you live, but 2007 will certainly be a year when the aquaintances get ditched and those I truly value remain. Sounds heartless, doesn't it, but why give your all to those who don't appreciate it when you can channel that energy into developing true friendships?

In truth, I am a kind of gyspy. All my life, I have constantly moved around; I have lived throughout the UK, in Spain and now Finland. Some of my best friends live in Tampere, the first city I lived in when I moved to Finland more than five years ago, and they still live there. Sometimes I miss them, especially when I am low and need someone to tell me to snap out of it.

The life of an ex-pat is not an easy one; sometimes it is a lonely one, but the good times certainly outweight the bad ones. And guess what? I'm smiling again!