FLASHBACK #55: Mum, Dad & Bree Meet In Helsinki

I came out recently to my parents (see here), revealing that I was gay. My parents were instantly interested in meeting the potential son-in-law who, by this time, I had been dating already more than two years. It was understandable that my parents wanted to meet Bree so it was arranged that they would come to Finland and we would all meet up.

As the weeks passed, I got more and more nervous so I organised a setup that would minimise everybody's pain if an awkward moment came about. I told Blue and the Ex-Neighbour, my two girlfriends in Tampere, that I needed them to be in town on that day. We would all go for a picnic. If my parents or Bree felt uncomfortable, the girls would easily distract them with their wit and funny stories.

The big day came. It was a Saturday in the middle of July. The weather was great, the picnic was packed, the girls had arrived in town by train, my parents were at my place in Katajanokka. Around midday, Bree, Blue, the Ex-neighbour and I drove there.

My heart was pounding as we made our way up to the fourth floor. Would they like him? Would they dislike him? Would they suddenly turn their backs as I had originally feared? I rang the doorbell and my Mum let us all in. Straight away, my Mum latched her sights onto Bree and, suddenly, gave him a warm hug; this is something that Finns don't feel comfortable with and it showed as Bree's arms just shot straight downwards towards the floor rather than returning the hug. Blue, the Ex-Neighbour and I grinned at eachother. We all moved into the living room and my Dad shoved a big, strong hand into Bree's. He was quiet, obviously testing the environment, asserting his own masculinity.

We didn't hang around, instead heading straight out in the two cars we had at our disposal to a park just east of the city. We settled down by a canal, laying down some blankets and tucking into the contents of the picnic basket. From time to time, my Mum smiled at me, reassuring me in a way only a Mum can without the need for words. Later that day, my Dad hugged me for no reason; I guess it was just his way of saying things would be okay, unable to summon words to fit the occasion.

We spent the next two days together, being careful not to overdose my parents on Bree. From time to time, Bree went off to do his own thing while I showed my parents some of the city. We visited the Kaivopuisto area by the seaside and ate huge Pehmis ice-creams as we watched a red double decker bus pass by. How British is that?!

I took them to Kauppatori (the main market square) to browse round the countless stalls dedicated to tourists, followed by a boat trip around the newly developed area of Herttoniemi. During the boat trip, my Mum insisted on waving to passersby in other boats. Rather than accuse her of embarrassment, I joined in!

Later on, we visited the 72m high Stadium Tower, which looms above the stadium used for the 1952 Olympics and offers superb views of the city.

We finished the sightseeing off with a trip to Vanha Kaupungin koski (the Old City Falls). My parents had been lucky because the weather had been fantastic during their visit.

I remember we sat at an outdoor restaurant for more than three hours one evening, as Bree and my parents got to know eachother. As their son, I had heard all the stories before, but as I saw Bree and my parents smiling at eachother, I knew that we were slowly overcoming a major hurdle in our life together: my parents were learning about us and our life, and I had acquired new-found respect for my parents.

When the time came for my parents to leave, I flew back to the UK with them. I spent some more time with them in the South of England before meeting friends in Liverpool in the North. Days later, I would collect Bree from Manchester airport for us to start our trip to Scotland (see Flashback #56 in three parts on this page).