FLASHBACK #53: Coming Out (Part 2) - The Dad's Reaction

The moment the letter disappeared in the letterbox, I bit my lower lip. Who knew what would happen now? When my parents read the letter (see here), how would they react? Would they disown me? Would I ever see them again?

I had taken time off work; such was the stress around my coming out that I had to take sick leave. The very next morning, less than 24 hours since I had sent the letter, my mobile phone rang. I looked at the caller display - it was a call from my parent's number in UK! Could they have received the letter already?! Surely not!

Reluctanctly, I answered the phone, pretending not to know who the caller was. Not saying hello or anything, my father said that he had received the letter, he had read it and that he had just one question. He asked: "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" I explained that I was still only 27, quite young anyhow and that some people never tell their families choosing instead to live the lie for fear that they won't be accepted..

I remember feeling relieved that my father was actually talking to me. He was talking to me, a voice I thought I would never hear again. He asked if I was in a relationship and I said yes. This is where the ice broke beause I told him that I had a boyfriend who had been behind me every step of the way. My father tried to stifle a laugh, but broke into a snigger; I was so embarrassed that my dad had correlated the 'behind me' with the act of buggery.

My father said that they needed time to absorb the rest of the letter, but wanted to let me know that I was still their son. It was then that I started crying. As we ended the call, I just sat there on the sofa all alone - months of stress had released from me, but I still felt lonely for I just wanted someone to put their arms around me and there was nobody there.

I called Bree and friends at their own workplaces to tell them the good news and how my father had actually managed to find some humour in perhaps the darkest chapter of my life. How we underestimate our parents, I have to say. After all, they are older than us so I suppose we are treading the steps they have already treaded. What relief!